Nothing is permanent. And that includes pain or situations, that you may have invited into your Life based on choices you made, that cause pain. What makes pain intolerable – or causes our suffering – is the judgment that people pass on you when you are going through a situation and also your own expectation that the pain or the situation causing it did not exist in the first place.
Let’s examine both factors closely to understand them. Know that Life happens to each of us differently. Our situations may be similar but our experiences are always different. So, there’s no merit in judging others based on choices they made or what you have been through. At best you can share your experience and your learnings. The person you are addressing may or may not want to learn from your experience. Maturity requires that you offer your perspective – unsolicited or otherwise – with no expectation that it must be used. And, in case you are at the receiving end, even if an opinion is thrust on you, you have the option to politely refuse it – especially when you know that it may not be relevant in your situation. Please don’t suffer. Your suffering comes because you expect the person offering you advice to understand you or your situation better. Drop that expectation. Let people continue to opine, you take what works for you, leave the rest and go on living! Simple. This way the pain is there undoubtedly – but there’s no suffering. The second factor that causes you suffering is a no-brainer. Wishing pain away does not work! Pain cannot be avoided. It has to be faced and accepted. Your acceptance will however take away your suffering. This is an unalterable truth, a law of Life!
Simply, when in pain choose to be with people who relate to you – and to whom you can relate to – and who are non-judgemental. Not that the people who pass judgment are bad. They are simply not worth hanging out with in such painful times when you are already feeling low. You don’t want to be feeling more low surely – with avoidable opinions and influences in your Life! When you are careful to allow yourself to be nurtured by people who love you, you will discover that while you can’t ever be free from pain, you can work towards being free from suffering!
But no matter how painful Life gets sometimes, be sure that it will repair itself. Life heals. And the healing happens faster when you don’t resist the situation that’s causing you pain.