It is only through a loss that you learn about Life – and its transience.
A man wrote to me after reading my Book ‘Fall Like A Rose Petal’ (Westland). He said he had lost everything in Life, his money, his family and his peace of mind. He wondered how Vaani and I managed to retain our sanity and hang in there despite so many odds stacked up against us.
I had a simple answer for him: We have learnt to be detached; that’s the key to our inner peace. Yes, we make very sincere efforts every single day but we have realized that we can’t control the results or the outcomes. So, if we are satisfied with our efforts, we sleep well.
Many people tell me that being detached is so difficult. I guess we find detachment difficult to practice because we wonder if there is another way to inner peace that allows us to be attached to whatever we want to cling on to. When you realize that there is no other way, that detachment is the only way to inner peace, you too will learn to be detached.
Let’s understand this better. Sometimes, Life will take away what you love and want most – could be people or things. You will find it very, very hard to accept that you don’t have that someone or something anymore. Yet, without acceptance, you can never find inner peace. Think about it. Everything that you and I have has been acquired during the course of this lifetime. When you were born you came with nothing. When you die you will go with nothing. Your name, your education, your titles, your fame, your money, your assets, your relationships – everything was got here, on this journey called Life. When your Life ends, you will leave behind everything. This is the way Life is. Yet, if you examine your emotions and thoughts closely, you will find that all your grief and suffering comes from your attachment to all those very things and people who you will leave behind. It is at one level so evident, so basic. That all that you cling on to cannot go with you. But even then you hold on to all that gives you grief?
So whatever it is that you cling on to and that’s giving you grief, let it go! Unless you learn to detach yourself from everything – absolutely everything, including people – you will never quite experience inner peace.