Deciding to do what you love doing is a no-brainer, actually!

You live only once – so go do whatever that makes you come alive.

A friend called to say that he was confused. He had secured admission to a Master’s Program at a premium University in the US. He is in his mid-30s. He has not got a scholarship to fund his Program. But his family and friends have agreed to support his two-year USD 100k+ fee requirement. His question: Should he, at his age, ‘educate’ himself at such a huge cost?

This confusion arises in most of us. We tend to perceive a strong sense of guilt in us, which we often blow out of proportion, in all matters that concern what we love to do. Simply, deciding to do what we love doing, we imagine, is tough. I really don’t think so.

Here’s a framework of questions that’s easy to employ in situations when you are confused or are feeling a pang of guilt or both! Evaluate what you love doing in Life – primarily on matters relating to career, higher education, a passion, your bliss – basis this framework:

1. Do you really want to do this – as in, is your heart in it? Will you enjoy doing this?
2. Will it be useful to you and make your Life meaningful if you choose to do this?
3. Can you afford this?

If you can answer yes to all three questions, just go do whatever you love doing.

The third question is significant and comes in handy to evaluate your Life choice based on economic parameters – if it is higher education, for instance, will you be able to afford the loan and repay it over time, if you are bringing the funds from outside? If you can reasonably convince yourself that you are financially preparing this investment after careful thought, you must just go ahead.

Somehow, we are never quite confused when acquiring material assets – stuff that makes us feel financially secure. If you are buying a house for USD 100k+/Rs.75 Lakh, you may not seriously think so much about it. Because socially, culturally, we are wired to consider purchase of property (or gold) as an investment. But education is seen as an expense. An experience that makes you come alive is seen as an expense. A career in creativity is seen as an expense. I don’t understand why we value our (financial) wealth more than our bliss?

As I see it, a degree from a US school is just a worthless piece of paper. Like a degree from anywhere else in the world. But pursuing a degree in an international school, in a multi-cultural environment, is an experience. And you are paying actually for the experience, for the knowledge you will gain beyond the curriculum and the class room, for the relationships and the resilience you will develop going through the academic tenure of any Program. Now, I will give the same advice to someone coming in from, let us say, the US and wanting to study in India – please do. Again not for the paper degree, but for getting schooled in India’s myriad cultures and work ethic. So, my vote is for any experience that can enrich you, no matter who you are, than just make you rich.

For making your Life meaningful, you must think beyond economic parameters and constraints. The focus should always be on how can I make my Life count and be useful? And not on the fact that it costs so much money to make it count. If you can answer what makes you come alive, if you have an opportunity that will help you live every moment of your Life fully, in bliss, and if you have found the means to sustain yourself without upsetting your immediate circle of influence, primarily your family’s economic ecosystem, you must go do it. Don’t think too much. I will leave you with what I remember reading somewhere – the opportunity of this lifetime must be utilized before this lifetime expires – during in the lifetime of the opportunity!   

Figuring out a way through Life is what Life is all about!

 

Cluelessness will often strike, but you have a choice not to feel helpless!

A friend from the US called to say that she is at a cross-roads in Life. She has been laid off her job. She’s broken up with her boyfriend. She’s in a new relationship. And she’s figuring out what to do with her Life. She’s in her late 30s and feels both “hopeless and hopeful” at the same time: “I not sure I know where I am going in Life. I have stumbled along for over 15~17 years of my Life…I have only money enough to last me for 3 months without any employment…I feel stupid having done the many things I have done…only to find myself in this vague, directionless state in Life…”!

Surely, I don’t think my friend is either the first one to feel this way or the only one who is feeling lost at the moment. As I write this blogpost, I too am clueless about what’s going to happen next in my Life…but I am not hopeless. And this is the critical, discernable, difference between being anchored in faith and groping in fear.

Faith is not a privilege that only a select few have access to. It is not external at all – as all the religions, through their dogmatic pursuit of rituals, want you to believe. It is simply understanding and knowing that if you have been created, you will be provided for and taken care of. It is about trusting the process of Life. And this trust comes from your willingness to deal with the unknown, from facing your fears. When you look fear in the eye, it gives you the courage to face it, and courage opens the doors to faith within to last the course, to survive, to plow on!

Hopelessness sets in only when you don’t trust Life to take care of you. And when you have naïve, uninformed expectations of Life. Consider this carefully – has Life promised you anything; has it given you any guarantees; has it denied you anything that you have needed in Life so far? If the answer is no to all three questions, why do you doubt Life? Why do you think you will not get what you need? I have learnt that you always get what you need in Life, perhaps not the way you want it, but the way Life deems it appropriate for you to receive its grace. So, while I often face cluelessness, but I have stopped, in fact I have given up, feeling hopeless, long, long, ago!

Now, dealing with cluelessness is never easy. The human mind will torture you by conjuring scenarios that are dark, frightful and, often morbid. But when you are not feeling hopeless, when you are anchored in faith, you learn to cope with not knowing what’s going on or what will happen. So, being clueless is inevitable in Life. But being hopeless is something that you can avoid.

I have actually begun to love being clueless. It keeps me creatively engaged – it gives me the opportunity to find out newer ways of living Life meaningfully, it sharpens my intellect, it enhances my resilience and make me further trust the process of Life. Most important, it helps me see the miracle in every moment as it unfolds. Figuring out a way through Life, I have realized, is what Life is all about!

How can you hold anyone responsible for what is happening to them?

To be able to separate the doer from the deed is a very mature, evolved, human quality.

Yesterday, we watched a much celebrated Kannada film Thithi (2015, Raam Reddy). Apart from being feted globally by audiences and film-makers alike, it has won a National Award in India, the Golden Leopard at the Locarno Film Festival and was judged the Best Film in Shanghai last month. The story is of four men, spanning four generations, from one family from a village in Karnataka’s Mandya district – all characters in the film are played by non-professional actors. It’s an unpretentious story, told with honesty, with real people.

Thithi left me with a deep, spiritual message. In the film, a central character, Gadappa, an old man, narrates his story to some shepherds. He tells them how his father ended up having an affair with his (Gadappa’s) wife. When Gadappa discovers her secret, catching her virtually red-handed, he doesn’t utter a word. He simply takes her home. The woman, consumed by shame and guilt, ends her Life. Gadappa tells this story in a non-plussed manner, with a straight face, even as an accepting, benign smile tries to peep out of his thick beard. And then, in a totally detached manner, he declares: “I don’t even know if all this was just a dream…I don’t care…at the end of the day, we must all be happy. That’s it!”

Gadappa’s attitude reminded me of a friend of mine who has loaned me money. He gave away a portion of the funds that he had saved for his entrepreneurial journey. He had started a venture and half-way through investing in it, he decided to wind it up and return to seek employment. When I approached him for a loan, he immediately parted with the balance of what was left in his entrepreneur fund. As it has turned out, I have still been unable to repay him and several others that I have borrowed money from (my Book Fall Like A Rose Petal – Westland Books – tells you why). Every time I write to him or speak to him, seeking his forgiveness and understanding for this endless delay in being able to repay him, my friend has always replied: “It’s not as if I don’t need that money back AVIS. I do. But how can I ever hold it against you for what you are going through? It is only because of what you are going through that you are unable to pay me back – I know and understand that. But how can I hold you responsible?”

It is indeed a great human quality to not hold anyone responsible for what’s happening to and with them. It embodies trust, compassion and forgiveness. People’s actions may hurt you – take Gadappa’s story or my friend’s. But you must forgive. You must learn to replace anger and bitterness with trust and compassion. And you just move on. I am not sure this will work for everyone or will work in all contexts. But I have found that wherever people have not succumbed to the temptation to grow hatred and anger, better understanding and bonding has prevailed. This is possible, I have noticed, when you separate the doer from the deed. You may always condemn the deed, but you can also forgive the doer and embrace the doer with love and compassion.

Inspired by my friend’s approach towards me, I have tried practicing this principle myself. And whenever I have done this, I have always felt that I am at peace – with myself, my circumstances and with my world.

Don’t squander your energy – and time – trying to change people who don’t want to change

In a relationship conflict, consider preserving your inner peace first. That’s what matters most.

A young lady we met recently talked about her failed marriage. She said when she saw the relationship withering away, she took time off to think things through. And then she came back into the relationship to give it one more chance. But when her spouse refused to see value or reason in her efforts, she said, she just decided to move on. “I didn’t see the point anymore. I knew I had to go on to live the Life that was waiting for me,” she explained.

Break-ups are never easy. Surely not when you have made every effort to make things better. But prudence lies in thinking the way the young lady reasoned with her situation. You can try to wake up someone who is asleep. But you can never quite wake up someone who is pretending to be asleep. So, if a relationship must work – any relationship – both parties must be ready and willing to change. This is not about being willing to adjust or accommodate alone; it is about being to relate to each other’s points of view. I don’t think there’s anyone who will be unreasonable or unwilling to change themselves if they see, agree and relate to the other person’s point of view. The tragedy is that most of the time they don’t relate to what you are saying. And so they refuse to change. Therefore, in such cases, it is just best you move on instead of hoping, pining and waiting for the other person to change, losing precious time in Life doing this, and often suffering through the process.

A fundamental understanding we all need to cultivate is that nobody is good or bad; no one is right or wrong. It is just that each of us is a product of the time – in Life – that we are going through. So, in some phases in Life, people refuse to see what’s evident, what’s simple and what’s best for all parties concerned. They just think that what they are thinking is right, they believe in what they are doing and they understand that their way, their reasoning, is the only way. So, when dealing with such a situation, when the parties involved in a relationship conflict are refusing to see each other’s point of view, it is best to not press on. This is not giving up, this is not being selfish either. This is being practical, logical and sensible. This is about wanting to preserve your inner peace and choosing to be happy.

When you don’t know what to do, simply play along with Life!

You don’t have to know everything or have all the answers. It is fine to be clueless. In fact, it is great to just be.

I am in a familiar zone this morning. I have no idea of what’s going to happen. (Now, I know, the truth is none of us can ever know what’s going to happen!) But I am referring to all our efforts at putting our business back on track, the way we want it to be, that have come unstuck. Yet again. It surely is unsettling at a practical, material, everyday level. But this is not something that we don’t have experience dealing with. Vaani and I have seen this time and again, that whenever we don’t seem to know what is happening or why it is happening and what we must do, Life has always shown us the way. That way may not be something we would have known of or liked to take, but we implicitly trust Life and allow ourselves to be led by it. This is perhaps why we don’t suffer despite our often excruciating circumstances.

The human desire to know why something is happening to you is what causes your suffering. The simplest way to avoid suffering is to stop asking why or why me. Stop wanting to know all the answers to questions that fox you. Stop wanting to solve all your problems at the same time. In fact, there will be times in your Life, when you can’t solve even one of your problems – let alone all. You will just be pushed to a corner by Life, button-holed and made irrelevant. Of course, you will be irritated, you will feel helpless and totally, completely, lost. This is when suffering will arrive in your Life. But it will lay siege only if you want answers, only when you seek solutions, only if you ask why. Instead if you just accept that being clueless, being helpless, being solution-less is fine, you will not suffer, despite the pain.

So, when I am in that zone, where I am this morning, I don’t ask why. I simply surrender to Life and say, be my light, show me the way and give me the strength, the stamina, to further endure the journey. I have learnt, that it is best, when you don’t know what to do, to simply play along with Life – as in this immortal song from Dev Anand’s Hum Dono (1961, Amarjeet/Vijay Anand, Mohd. Rafi, Jaidev, Sahir Ludhianvi)! 

Your story is your Life path. Let the path unfold, you just go wherever it takes you.

Live your story. Live a Life that matters.

Over the weekend, I was invited to share a transformational moment of my Life at a story-telling session. Now, I am often invited to speak at forums and events. And I almost always share my story. Even through the workshops that Vaani and I lead and anchor, we share stories – both from our own personal experiences and of what we see and learn from Life around us. We also encourage participants at our workshops to share their personal journeys so that they can bond and function better as teams. But this story-telling session that we attended on Sunday was different. It was structured, time-bound story-telling. It was a beautiful experience, hearing so many, intensely personal, stories from rank strangers.

So, there was the retired principal of a corporation school – he talked of how he learnt to live intelligently and serve selflessly from his own students, most of them coming from broken homes; they came only for the lure of the noon-meals the school offered, as it was the only meal the children got daily! There was a man who shared his story of remorse and guilt – over shamelessly demanding a dowry from his millionaire father-in-law, turning an alcoholic thereafter – and how he found love and meaning in his Life, thanks to his wife forgiving him and showing him so much compassion and understanding. Then there was this young, TamBram lady who rebelled against the institution of marriage and who was given an apartment to live separately by her conservative father – she talked of the various people she ended up living with in her apartment and what she learnt from each of them.

This experience only corroborated what I have always believed in: understanding personal stories matters a lot in relationships. I read somewhere, long, long ago, that behind every beating heart is a personal story. And, I have learnt from Life that, if you understand that story, relating to – or choosing not to relate to – the other person in a relationship becomes that much simpler.

Most relationships, across all contexts and not necessarily limited to a romantic liaison between two people, become messy because, after the initial phase of getting to know a person, there is no effort by either party to understand the other. Knowing their stories helps. Our part-time helper at home, for instance, came late to work today. Now, it is normal for us to imagine that she, like most other housemaids like her, is playing silly and truant. But when Vaani paused to hear her story, it turns out that she’s being repeatedly physically abused by her drunkard husband. I am not saying that we can solve someone’s problems by knowing their story. But knowing someone’s story surely helps us deal with them with empathy and compassion. We may or may not choose to engage with a person after hearing their story. And that’s fine. But at least we can avoid imagining and perceiving the person to be something that he or she is not.

For a person who shares a story, the experience of sharing is a therapeutic one. I can vouch for this. Over the last few years, Vaani and I have healed greatly through being open and sharing our story – through my Book, my Talks, events that we curate and through this Blog that I write daily. So contrary to popular perception that sharing our stories makes us vulnerable, I would say, sharing our stories helps us experience the warmth, compassion, love and kindness that makes up the Universe!

But, most important, your story shapes you – it refines you, makes you stronger and helps you evolve. It leads you to live a Life that matters. But for that to happen, you must embrace the experiences that come your way, without resisting them, and be prepared to go through your own adventure. So, when your story unfolds, when you path begins to appear, just offer yourself to be led by Life. You can be sure that, over time, you will arrive where you must – and where you belong!

‘Kun Faayakun’ – a prescription for a happy, happy week ahead!

It is what it is. You just be available to, present in and accepting of what is. And you will be at peace and happy!

Yesterday, while watching Rockstar (2011, Imtiaz Ali, Irshad Kamil, A.R.Rahman, Javed Ali, Mohit Chauhan, Nizami Brothers) on TV, my daughter, listening to A.R.Rahman’s soul-stirring number Kun Faayakun, asked me what the song’s opening words meant. I have often wanted to know what they meant too. So, I looked up Google. And this was the most beautiful answer I got.

Kun Faayakun comes from the Arabic words “Kun (كن)” which means “to be” or “to exist” and “Faayakun (فيكون)” which  means “It is”. So its literal meaning is “Be, and, It is”. Kun Faayakun actually is a Quranic verse referred to five times in the Quran. It is referred to symbolize God’s creative power. This term is about God’s will and absolute control over every creation. In Surah Baqrah (2:117) this phrase appears as: “The Originator of the heavens and the earth, when He decrees a matter, He only says to it: “Be!” and “It is.””

While that may be the definitive, scriptural meaning, I feel closer to understanding the meaning of Kun Faayakun, at a spiritual level, as this: Whatever it is, is; so just be and let whatever is, just be. It is what it is.

So, when there is pain, let the pain simply be. Don’t resist it. When there is grief, let the grief just be, don’t ask for it to not be there. When there is joy, experience the joy. Just be in what is, with what is. All your suffering comes from resisting any current reality in your Life. When you don’t wish the presence of anything that is, you suffer. So, Kun Faayakun, to me, celebrates the spirit of acceptance, by just being with what is.

And my favorite line from Irshad Kamil’s lyrics in the song is this one: “…araj tujhe kar de mujhe mujhse hi riha…” which means “…my plea to Thee is to free me of myself…” If you truly have understood the impermanence of Life, if you have understood its transient nature, you will feel closest to creation and learn to be detached from your worldliness. Your worldliness comes from all that you are attached to – your name, your gender, your age, qualifications, assets, wealth, relationships, opinions, memories, experiences, reputation…and anything that you have acquired here on this journey through this planet, in this lifetime. And it is only because of your being attached to your worldly acquisitions that you suffer. Drop your attachments and your suffering will end. Instantaneously.

This is how I have learnt to live. I am in great pain because of my circumstances. But I don’t suffer anymore. And I have learnt to be non-suffering only by just being and letting everything just be – as it is. ‘Kun Faayakun’ to me, therefore, is not only a great A.R.Rahman song, it is not just a Quranic verse, it is the spirit of my very being. And it is beautiful! It is, if you like, a prescription, for happiness too!

 

Make some time daily to make memories

There’s opportunity every day to do something meaningful or experience something beautiful – if you really want to.

Most newspapers this morning are commemorating 25 years of liberalization and reforms in India – of the unusual partnership, between then Prime Minister Narasimha Rao and Finance Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh, that changed India forever. Seeing all the coverage about this epochal Budget speech of July 24^th, 1991, I asked myself, what was I doing 25 years ago, around the same time?

A flood of memories came rushing back.

I remember, Vaani and I had just moved to Trivandrum on July 10^th, 1991. I was working with India Today then. Since my senior colleague Ramesh Menon was transferred to New Delhi, I was asked by my boss, the venerable Prabhu Chawla, if I would like to shift to Kerala as the state correspondent for the magazine. I grabbed the opportunity. We moved into the same apartment that Ramesh had lived in. He and his wife Geeta had left behind some cane chairs that would be the only furniture in our home for many, many, months. This was our first home – for Vaani and me. We had been living with my parents until then – a decision that I quickly realized I should have never taken – for almost 18 months after our wedding in February 1989. So, to be on our own was a big high.

It was a beautiful time, very intimate, very romantic. We were 24 and 25 – Vaani and I. I barely made Rs.4,500/- a month as salary. We had no refrigerator or mixer or grinder. Vaani often made a simple, but delicious meal of kappa and puzhukku-ari kanji, with green chillies to go with it, for dinner. We slept on the ground as we did not have a bed or a cot. We spent memorable weekends doing up our home with artefacts that I would pick up from my travels around Kerala. Each month, we saved up a wee bit to buy appliances or furniture or linen for our home.

Our son Aashirwad was only a year old. When he was just six months old, we had tonsured his head so that his hair would grow richer. So, one Sunday, I decided to take Aash for a haircut – his first – on my Bajaj Cub scooter. I can recall that day so vividly. Aash was so excited. And so was I. It was a big feeling to be a parent, to be living in an independent apartment, to be raising a family with Vaani.

Soon after, for the next 15-odd years, I immersed myself in building my career, and later our business. My memories of the time I spent at home during this frenzied phase are not as vivid as I would like them to be. It wasn’t until our bankruptcy struck, and Life forcibly slowed me down, that I realized how much I had missed in the years that I had been toiling away – mindlessly, possibly avariciously. While I do remember random work-related, mostly stressful, events, I don’t have too many home or family memories from everyday moments to lean back on. That’s how I learnt this lesson, the hard way, that pretty soon, you will arrive at a point in Life when all you will have are memories. And so, it makes great sense to create beautiful ones even as you live, often barely getting past, each day.

This means, on a daily basis, no matter what the stress, no matter how packed your day looks, no matter what the situations or contexts you are placed in are, create one beautiful moment or participate in the one that is available to you. For instance, always kiss someone dear goodbye. Or pause to see a sunrise or sunset. Or feel the rain as it comes down instead of rushing away indoors. Or look someone – a random stranger – in the eye to thank them for their kindness. Or just make it a point to have 5 minutes with your family, without looking at your smartphone, daily.

Treat this time that you will dedicate daily to create memories as your true ‘Selfie’ time. That is, time for yourself! Time, that you will upload to your memory, to draw upon, when you have nothing but lots of time on your hands but no one to spend it with!! I didn’t do this for a significant part of my Life. Thankfully, I no longer regret it – because I have evolved to understand that regretting is a complete waste of time. I say it here now, just so that, in case you are living your Life the way I used to, you can awaken and go make some time to make memories.

 

Our reactions to #Kabali offer us an opportunity to pause and introspect

Learn to be non-judgmental and un-opinionated – especially if you don’t know the full story.

I didn’t quite want to write a post on Kabali. Already there is so much virtual real estate in social media that’s consumed by the pre- and post-release frenzy over the movie. But my friend Bishwanath Ghosh’s (BG) column in today’s Hindu Melange titled “Why Rajnikanth Rocks” got me thinking.

BG points out that the greatness of Rajnikanth lies in the fact that the man separates himself from his work and resultant superstardom. “He is perhaps the only actor in the country who takes his work — and not himself — seriously,” writes BG. And almost anyone who knows anything about Shivaji Rao Gaekwad, the man, will agree that BG is bang on there. I have met Rajnikanth as a journalist when I was working for India Today more than 25 years ago. From what I hear of him from people who know him closely now, he hasn’t changed at all from the impression I have of him – simple, humble, genuinely amazed by how insanely popular he is and never considering himself to be an actor of substance at all. In fact, in a pre-release interview that Kabali’s director Pa.Ranjith gave Vishal Menon of The Hindu, Ranjith says that Rajnikanth often told him this: “I am not at all an actor.”  So, in the wake of who Rajnikanth really is, and how he treats his superstardom, I believe, the frenzied pre- and post-release reactions to Kabali, tell us more about ourselves than serve as a denouement of the movie’s fate at the box office.

The #nerruppuda hashtag changing to #verruppuda, #kaduppuda, #serruppuda, or whatever, tells the story of a virulent audience response after first-day first-show viewings. But that’s the way audiences are worldwide. As Rajesh Khanna would often famously quote from the Kishore Kumar song (Laxmikant-Pyarelal, Anand Bakshi) from his own film Roti (1974): ‘Yeh Jo Public Hai, Yeh Sab Jaanti Hai’. As we all know audiences have little respect or patience for the processes and the emotions behind any creative work. And, in an instant gratification environment, marketers, who want to milk anything and everything, are quick to build hype even over fluffy offering. This past month everyone – from Air Asia to jewelers to Uber to pickle brands – has been milking Rajnikanth’s popularity. Now, there’s nothing wrong with marketing. But to expect a product to live up to marketing hype is always a tall ask. A movie is but a director’s way of telling a story. Some may like it. Some may not like it. To passionately associate with an actor, and make him or her a star or superstar, and unceremoniously disassociate and dump him or her later, is every fan’s birthright. But let’s pause for a moment to ask ourselves this question: What are you and I really doing here? You are saying that if someone is this way or that way then I like that person. And if that person does not live up to my expectation of him or her, I don’t want to have anything to do with him or her. So, essentially, it is what you expect that has begun to matter. Not who this person, that you claim you are a fan of, really is and what he or she wants.

I am not holding a brief for Rajnikanth here. I am not even saying what is the right way or what is the wrong way of being a fan or a superstar. All I am saying is that let’s not rush to judge people without having been in their shoes.

To be sure, none of us knows what it means to be Rajnikanth. Or for that matter what it means to be a Virat Kohli today. We don’t know what it means to carry the burden of having to live up to the expectations of millions of customers or fans – every single time you step up to do something, or simply, go to work! At the end of the day, what a Rajnikanth does is, he works for a living – it is a business like any other. And Kabali is a product like any other movie is. If the product is bad, like some sections of the audience are reporting it is, then we must simply remember the age old wisdom that “no amount of good advertising can sell a bad product.” But the product being bad does not necessarily mean its makers don’t have good intentions or that they have no talent or potential. Besides, we have a right as consumers to reject a product if it does not appeal to us. But let us stop with this. Let us not pass judgment – the unkindest comment I read somewhere is that “Soundarya is intent on making her father (Rajnikanth) bankrupt” – or opinionate on what kind of films Rajnikanth must act in or what characters he must play. The shooting-from-the-hip attitude we are seeing on display on social media over the past 24 hours is an important reminder for all of us to revisit a significant principle of intelligent living: In situations where we know little about a person or the space they work in or the Life they lead, passing judgment or opinionating, is totally avoidable.

Just as you work for joy and profits, so does someone like Rajnikanth or Pa.Ranjith. The most ideal situation is when someone can get both joy and profits out of what they are doing. And sometimes, as in the movies business, even if the audiences reject the product, the people who made it may have enjoyed the process of creation. We will never know. Because we are neither Rajnikanth nor Pa.Ranjith. So, the best we can do is to watch the movie, if we really want to, we can like it or dislike it, and move on. Let’s not pass judgment on people whose lives we have not lived and so whose lives we can never understand.

PS: I am not a fan of Rajnikanth, the Superstar, but I believe he is a great actor and a greater human being!

#LifeIsAdipoli

There is always something to celebrate about your Life – you just have to be ready and willing to celebrate it, that’s all!

An interesting Malayalam music video came my way this morning. It has a very catchy title: #LifeIsAdipoli. Literally, adipoli in Malayalam means ‘smashing good’ or, simply, ‘awesome’! So the title in English means #LifeIsAwesome. I went on to watch the video here.  I loved what I saw. The video depicts situations of everyday frustrations – a playful kid interrupting your flow of thought as you hack away on your laptop, a crazy traffic jam, reviewing a Life that’s listless….! And then comes a fictitious animated character, a rooster named Captain Cluck, who seizes the moment, who sings and prances, reminding you that, despite all that you are faced with and are going through, #LifeIsAdipoli, #LifeIsAwesome!

Surely, there’s a Captain Cluck in each of us. Someone who wants to break free from all this worldliness. My 21-year-old daughter calls it “adult Life” and she feels “it’s pretty complicated” – you have to commute to work, slog, earn an income, look after your home, pay bills…and, if you have a family, well, you have to be the chief provider for them too! So, over time, the Captain Cluck in us dies quietly. So much so that you don’t miss your Captain Cluck anymore. And you think the dreary, rat race runner that you see in the mirror every morning – you think that’s the real you. But occasionally something will happen – you may meet someone special, you may go to a place where you suddenly connect with who you are, you may listen to an old song that brings back memories of who you once were – and the Captain Cluck in you will come alive again. That’s when you will find that your Life really is not so bad or boring after all. That for everything in your Life that you feel unexcited about, there’s always something to celebrate.

I have a friend who lives in the UK. Some years back, his business went bust. His wife left him. And she took their daughters away too. One day the man was left with just 10 pounds. Everything else was either pledged or lost – including his apartment and car. He walked up a hill on the outskirts of London and wanted to leap off from the edge of a cliff. As he stood there at the edge of the cliff, making up his mind to take his Life, a rainbow appeared on the sky in front of him. He decided to spend some time admiring the rainbow before he went on with ending his Life. That’s when he realized that although he had lost everything worldly, there was still so much to celebrate about his Life. For instance, he reasoned to himself, he still had the ability to witness and appreciate a rainbow. Why not live on and check out whatever else Life has to offer, he thought. So, he walked down the hill and restarted his Life with the 10 pounds he had left with him. That was 23 years ago. He is almost 70 now. He has not only rebuilt his business, he has also given away all his wealth to charity. He lives with his girlfriend on top of the same hill where he spotted that rainbow. And to whoever cares to listen to him, he tells them that Life is indeed beautiful!

An awesome Life does not mean it will be free of problems. Everyday pinpricks and challenging Life situations are part of this experience called this lifetime. They are inevitable. So don’t expect a problem-free Life. But you can be free from obsessing over them. This, you must learn to do by never taking your Life too seriously, too personally. After all, consider this, you came with nothing and will go with nothing. Whatever it is that you fret and fume over is not going to matter when your lifetime comes to an end. So, simply, treat your Life as an experience, as a game, as an adventure. You will win some rounds here and you will lose some. You may get what you want at times making you insanely happy. And you may have to want what you get at other times in order to be happy. But over all, if you are tuned in and are living each day fully, no matter what you gain or lose, you will find the Captain Cluck in you alive and clucking. Remember: like it is in cricket, so it is in Life, it’s never over until the last ball is bowled. So, as long as you are alive, jab tak hai jaan, keep clucking away…because…#LifeIsAdipoli!