If someone sees you as their problem, it is, seriously, their problem – not yours!
A friend called me to share how his sister has been making Life miserable for him in their large, century-old family business. Although a formal separation has been gone through between them, my friend’s sister is insinuating and charging her sibling with transgressions and non-compliance. Resultantly, their dispute has ended up in court. While everyone understands the futility of having to fight things over in courts in India, they want to cling on to their stance. This has led to a stalemate of sorts between the parties. My friend however is wrecked by the emotional toll that this whole affair is having on him. “I have no problem with her. And I have no problem with the share of the business that I have been left with to manage. With some mediation, we can resolve the legal issues. But I feel very, very disturbed that my own sister has a problem with me,” lamented my friend.
Now, this could be anybody’s story. People often have problems with other people. And if you happen to be, like my friend, with whom someone has a problem, you too may want to learn to simply ignore it. What can you do if someone has a problem with you? At best you can hear their point of view and if there’s something to learn, something to unlearn and something to change in you, you can go to work on it. But what if someone continues to have a problem with you despite your best efforts and intentions to appease them? More important, what if you are someone’s problem – not what you do or what you don’t do? Well, the most sensible response must be to shrug off that viewpoint saying ‘too bad’ and move on. It is when you lack that discerning ability, and instead grieve over why you are being perceived wrongly, that you suffer.
When you grieve and suffer over such, often inconsequential, opinions, you sometimes end up becoming a problem for yourself. And that’s such a sad thing to happen. So, develop a more evolved and mature view of Life. You can only control what you think and do. You cannot control what others think and do. So, if someone’s insists on having a problem with you, let them have the pleasure of keeping it that way! Why work overtime to displease or dissatisfy them?