Life doesn’t bother what you feel about it

Understand that Life may sometimes appear to be unfair. But there’s no point fighting Life. It’s an exercise in futility.   
Rajesh and Nupur Talwar
Picture Source: Internet/Financial Express
I am still to come out of the shock of watching Meghna Gulzar’s “Talvar”. Based on the sensational double-murder of Aarushi Talwar and Hemraj, “Talvar” is very, very, very disturbing. Like journalist Avirook Sen’s book on the murder case and trial, the film too points to the injustice against the dentist couple Rajesh and Nupur. The film just corroborates something we all know about our system in India – that it is apathetic, inefficient and in several ways, dysfunctional! There is absolutely no prima-facie evidence that the couple killed their daughter. In fact, all evidence in the case is purely circumstantial and whatever is has been badly collected, analyzed or documented – either by the UP Police, who first investigated the crime and later by the two CBI teams. If anyone got close to solving the murder mystery, it was an upright CBI officer, but he was side-lined when a new CBI Director took over. So, nett nett, the two possible culprits roam free while Rajesh and Nupur are serving a prison sentence, having been convicted by a Special CBI Court, in Dasna jail in UP. They are accused of murdering their only child – only because, of the four people who were (ostensibly) in the apartment that night in May 2008, two are dead and the other two are them!
The more I think of it, the more the unfairness of it all rankles me. But there’s no point in feeling so. The truth is Life never promised any of us any fair-play. You are created without your asking for it. Things happen to you. And you must take each even as it comes in your Life, as it happens, accept what is, and simply move on. This way, while you cannot prevent what happens to you, you can at least choose not to suffer. This doesn’t mean you should not fight injustice. Of course, the Talwar couple are moving the High Court in Allahabad seeking a review of their sentence. But given the long list of pending cases and appeals in that court (like in most other courts in India), it may be some more time (read years) before they get a hearing and a review. When you read Avirook Sen’s “Aarushi”, you will discover that the Talwars have adopted an accept-what-is while being-at-the-problem-to-fight-the-injustice stance.
That can be your learning too. So, while you fight the injustice in any context, make a choice not to be bitter. Bitterness will only cause you suffering. When you suffer you cannot focus on and deal with a situation. You will feel drained and defeated. So, in your own interest, in order that you fight the good fight, you simply must first accept a reality – any reality – for what it is, the way it is. When you accept a reality, you can understand its ramifications better. When you understand something well, you can deal with it wholesomely.
Life is inscrutable no doubt. But it is also a series of happenings. To label any happening or event in your Life as good or bad or ugly or fair or unfair is of no use. Life doesn’t bother what you feel about it. So, when you can’t enjoy a situation, don’t fight it or resist it either. Simply endure it. This is the only way you can be at peace – despite your circumstances.   

Our Life design, the Master Plan, is inscrutable – but has to be accepted and faced!

Anything, absolutely anything can happen in Life. You just have to learn to face it and deal with it.  

A couple of days ago I finished reading “Aarushi” (Penguin, 2015) by journalist Avirook Sen. The book obviously tells the story of the double murders (of 14-year-old Aarushi and the middle-aged housekeeper Hemraj) that shocked all of India in May 2008. But more important, the book tells us that Dr.Rajesh Talwar and Dr.Nupur Talwar, Aarushi’s parents, did not kill her.In telling us so, Sen makes few things very evident to the reader: how flawed our judicial system is, how there is a heartless, cold bureaucracy that thrives at our premier investigating agency, the CBI, and how lawyers, and their often flaky strategies, can ruin a good chance for a client. Sen does not make an explicit summary of these points. This is what you glean through reading his unputdownable book. But above all that is evident, there is also the implicit Life lesson that one picks up – anything, absolutely anything, can happen in Life; and all you can do is face Life and deal with it.

Sen quotes from Dr.Rajesh Talwar’s journal entries on the immediate few days/weeks the couple spent in Dasna jail after their conviction on 25 November 2013. I reproduce some of the quotes as they are:

3 Dec 2013: Still can’t understand how this happened to us. If only I would have gotten up….I could not even save my dear Aaru. Very difficult to live without her.

9 Dec 2013: Miss Aaru so much and that time and our Life. People talk about their children and what they are doing. They come and meet them in jail. But for us, nothing.

10 Dec 2013: Met Nupur in the afternoon. It’s really strange what Life has dealt us. But this is what it is.

18 Dec 2013: This is the 25th year of our marriage and we will celebrate 25 years on the 19th of January (2014). Could anybody imagine where we would be on our 25th anniversary? No Aaru, no house, no clinic, no money and sitting in jail for something we haven’t done.

Dr.Talwar’s journal entries gives us a peek into how we think through a cathartic time in Life. When you read “Aarushi” you will realize how the Talwars have been done in by Life. Yes, we can blame the investigators, the judicial system, the witnesses who were influenced or coerced and whoever else we want to; we can even blame the Talwars for sleeping through the most dramatic and gruesome night of their Life. But ultimately this is the design for the Talwars’ Life: No Aarushi, no house, no clinic, no money and sitting in jail for something they haven’t done. They simply can’t escape it.

This is the way all our lives are designed. We can’t escape that design. We can fret, fume, kick around, bawl in agony, fight, resist – we can do all we want and can do, but Life goes on happening to us. The way it wants to. The Life design we all have to face and deal with is inscrutable. Some call it karma. I believe it is a Master Plan. And as I have learnt from someone, and learnt from being through Life’s experiences, the Master Plan has no flaws. We may think it is flawed because we believe we don’t deserve what we get or what happens to us. But in the end, it all adds up, all of it makes sense. You do eventually realize that whatever happened, happened for a reason and, believe me, for the good!
Dr.Talwar runs a dental clinic inside the Dasna jail. Even as he and Nupur await their appeal for suspension of their sentence by the Ghaziabad CBI court to be heard by the Allahabad High Court. The truth is, reveals Sen, the Allahabad High Court is presently hearing appeals from the 1990s. So, you can imagine how long it can take for the Talwars’, who were convicted in November 2013, appeal to be heard.

That brings us to a key operative word, a killer App, if you will, to face and deal with Life stoically – that word is “acceptance”. You can’t control what is. You can’t create what is. And because it is what it is, you simply have to accept what is; while continuing to do your bit to make each day count, and keep on living the Life that you have!