No matter who’s with you, for you, you often have to face Life, and fight its challenges, alone!
On the Kaun Banega Crorepati show last evening, host Amitabh Bachchan shared his personal learning from Life. While at Sherwood College, a residential school in Nainital, in the 1950s, Bachchan said he had to learn boxing. He explained how boxing taught him a lot and prepared him to face Life’s challenges. He said: “Inside the boxing ring you are alone with your opponent. Yes, there are a lot of people around you, but they are all outside the ring. Many of them will be cheering for you, many will be cheering for the opponent too. Many will advise you or have an opinion about you. But no one can play the game for you. Fight you must, and you will have to fight alone. So it is, as I have discovered, in Life too. Life’s challenges have to be faced. And at all times you have to remember, irrespective of who claims to support you or is with you, you are still alone in your fight!”
I found Bachchan’s analogy very powerful and relevant. The word “fight” here is not to be viewed in a negative sense. On a spiritual plane, what I have learned is that there’s no point in fighting or resisting anything. It only causes suffering. But here, in this context, fight really means the act of facing Life. Of staying on, doggedly, despite the circumstances and ploughing on. Sometimes, you will get the feeling that you are up against a wall. That you are not making any progress. At those times you will feel defeated and will not be able to make sense of what you must do. People around you will call you a fool. People will encourage you to give up. At all such times, if you believe in yourself, and have integrity of purpose, you must remember that not turning back and running away from your Life situation is “progress” in a very unique way! In refusing to budge you are actually moving – perhaps not forward in a physical sense, but definitely inward and upward in a spiritual sense. These will be lonely moments, and hours, and days, and weeks, and months, and years….but you must keep at it, if you believe in whatever you are following!
During these long years of the bankruptcy that my family and I have been grappling with, I have experienced this feeling several times. I can visualize myself as that boxer in the ring, taking blow after blow, unable to roll with the punches at times or even deliver a few at other times. But I refuse to capitulate or give up. I can’t say exactly why I refuse to give up. There may be multiple reasons. I believe a lot in myself and the work we do. My wife and soulmate too shares that belief – so that definitely helps. And so do my two children. But even then, sometimes, you cannot escape that feeling of being alone – up against a formidable Life situation! I for sure do feel guilty at times for taking the decisions I have taken in the past that have led to what we are having to face now. That’s when the feeling of being alone is at its peak. Everytime I feel this way though, I quickly direct my attention to count the blessings in my Life and celebrate the companionship of my wife and children. It always pulls me out from the depths of darkness and hopelessness.
I do recognize that many people in Life may not even have the blessing I have – of a loving, compassionate, understanding and believing family. And they may find themselves alone – beaten by Life! For all of you out there who, like me (and my family), are left numbed by Life’s challenges, here are a few lines to perk you up this Monday morning from Bachchan’s father, the venerable poet Harivansh Rai Bachchan (1907~2003):
Asaflta ek chunauti hai, ise sweekar karo,
Kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhar karo.
Jab tak na safal ho, neend chain ko tyago tum,
Sangharsh ka maidan chhodkar mat bhago tum.
Failure is a challenge – accept it
Look for what you need to change/improve about yourself/the situation
Until you succeed (in your endeavor) forget about rest and sleep – be at it relentlessly
Don’t run away from the challenge
So there may well be times when you may be alone in Life. Accept it. And Life may well be unreasonable. Face it. Only when you soldier on – can you get to what you dream of and go where no one else has ever gone before!