Be a teacher to an enemy, not an avenger

Live without enmity. Your enemies too then will become your raving fans.
This is a difficult choice, this living without enmity business. Because sometimes our principles are outraged, our sincerity is questioned and our need to set the record straight and redeem our pride starts driving us. In such moments, a lot of negative energy is generated that starts consuming us. Recognize that “How dare someone do this to me?” is a sentiment that is the fountainhead of anger, anxiety, stress and destructive thinking. Suppress the urge to be angry with the situation. Instead, give the situation love. Understand that someone is being preposterous, rude, unfair and unjust to you, only because they are viewing the situation differently. If they saw it your way, there would be no issue. Such people need help. Either you convince them or you forgive them and move on. If you are unable to convince them of your point of view, and are unable to forgive them; and on the other hand, you also want to fight for your right in a fair and free manner, by all means, go ahead. But don’t approach the situation with enmity. Approach it as an opportunity to educate the person. Education requires enormous patience and a desire to present a teachable point of view. Wanting to teach a lesson, always, has a sense of wasted urgency to it and a vengeful perspective.
Whenever confronted with the dilemma of wanting to prove your point, and yet be forgiving, opt to be a teacher, not an avenger. When realization dawns on the other party, and be sure it will because if you are true you will get your way eventually, they will feel good and alive with the awakening, and not be destroyed with the defeat.


Be vulnerable, be open, be peaceful

The best way to deal with your detractors is to not resist them. Let them do what they must. You be vulnerable, be open. Let Life take care of the rest.
This approach really ensures that you stay focussed, conserve your energies and don’t let any negativity consume you. But this approach is rarely taken.
Whenever someone wrongs you, the first reaction is: ‘How dare she or he do this to me?’. You rush to respond with rage and simply end up staying agitated. The more you cling on to anger, hatred and hurt, the more you will burn in them. If somebody is doing something to you, which you think is against your interests, please know and accept that she or he is doing it because they think it is right for them to do it! The viewpoints are different. That’s all. Perhaps, if you explained your viewpoint or if the other person in question considered your viewpoint upon review, things will be different. For the present however, you feel you have been wronged. And someone feels they are right. Further you are seething with rage, wallowing in self-pity, looking at the whole world as being dark, hellish and full of hideous people. Know also that you are the one who’s burning. The perpetrator of your grief is possibly happy, unperturbed by his or her action. That makes you even more angry. And you now seek revenge. What is the point? You cause pain to that person in retaliation. She or he responds with more acrimony. And then it’s your turn again. So, the ping-pong battle goes on, on and on. And all through this tenure you are burning. You are unable to concentrate on your work. Even anger or self-pity or staying grumpy or being cynical is an addiction. As ruinous as any other physically debilitating habit! You don’t even realize that you are destroying yourself in the process.
To break away from this destructive cycle of negative emotions, something has to give. And it has to be your desire to cling on. Give that up! Wisdom lies in the fact that you unshackle yourself from this rage, from this hatred, from this injury and become free. It takes two people to cause any enmity. And you can decimate that cause by refusing to enjoin in it! Let go of all animosity within you. Give up your need to be right all the time. Give up your need to get even. This is the only way – to be vulnerable and open – to inner peace, to be free and to perhaps win the battle – without even fighting!