When something you value falls apart, don’t let the experience touch your inner core.
In one of the papers this morning I saw the painful statement issued by Jignesh Shah, the former non-executive vice-chairman of MCX, who is in the middle of the Rs.5,600-crore payment imbroglio at NSEL (National Spot Exchange Limited): “The NSEL crisis has destroyed everything that I have worked hard to build over the past two decades. My loss is not just financial but what has hurt me and my family most is the concerted effort to destroy my credibility and trust for which I have lived by all my Life.” Shah’s example is just a case in point. The question here is not who causes a crisis, or a painful situation, but should always be about how can one work his or her way out of the situation. And the path to getting out of a messy or painful situation can be laid more swiftly, more efficiently, only when your inner core remains untouched.
This happens to all of us all the time. We get stopped in our tracks by what someone did to us or said to us. Suddenly we lose all the momentum we had built because we are socked, and shocked, by what has happened. Let’s say your boss says something harsh at work. Or does something to deny you a fair appraisal. If you allow that event or comment to touch your inner core, you will be in grief. You will lose your peace of mind. And your momentum, your energy levels will be impacted. Your mind will force you to keep thinking about that person and that event – so much so that you will be living in that event, and not in the moment. All this happens because you allowed your inner core to be touched, to be stirred.
There’s a way to remain untouched. Which is to focus on what must be done. If it is a case of unfair treatment at work, look for a new job. If a business crisis has rocked your Life, focus on putting the business back on track. If a friendship you value is in disarray, learn to look beyond that relationship. Remember you can’t control how people will behave or how Life will deal with you. Often times in Life, whatever happens to you may seem to be very unfair. But when did Life promise any fair-play?
So let events and people be just the way they are. You simply move on. Don’t pause to mourn or moan about what happened. That is not going to help. What will help is for you to awaken with the pain that the event brings in its wake, refuse to take it into you, and simply move on! Or “Just”, as a Johnny Walker label that stares at me from my bar counter says, “Keep Walking…!”