Flush yourself from time to time – just let it go

Keeping your emotions bottled up is the surest way to suffer. Sometimes, you must let it all go!
All our experiences are emotional. Long after the experiences are over the emotions still remain in us. Often times, we keep those emotions bottled up within us. We believe that being strong through a difficult, challenging, phase means we must bury our emotions; we must not cry, we must not express how we are feeling. This belief can sometimes be ruinous. This is what leads to people slipping into depression or causes them to be unhappy or even, in some extreme cases, leads to people taking their lives.  
There’s a better way to deal with your emotions. Simply flush yourself from time to time. Flushing here means talk to a friend, or sit alone in a place where you are comfortable – the beach, a park, your room, wherever you feel good being alone – and cry or talk to complete strangers in a bar or on a bus. The key is to express how you are feeling. It is through expressing yourself that you can heal: artists either paint or sing or dance, someone just cooks or immerses in gardening, someone jogs or goes for a long walk and still others just travel – solo! Whatever gives you joy, whatever helps you flush yourself, do it. But please do it.
Most people fear or avoid flushing out because they feel it is wrong to break down, to feel helpless and to show their human, vulnerable, side. This is so untrue. Keeping things bottled up pushes you into a depressive spiral. Now, depression is a deceptive adversary. It makes you believe that being depressed is a nice thing to do, a great place to be in. It makes you strangely feel comfortable. When you are depressed and sad, people are doting over you. They want to help you. You feel important. You don’t have to do anything. You are taken care of, provided for and, in a way, even pampered. But too much of languishing in this comfort zone makes it habitual. Then you are unable to break free from the depression. You start seeking and craving understanding. But how much compassion and understanding can you expect from people who care for you when you don’t want to help yourself? So, over time, the people go away, they lose interest and hope in you and you become alone, feel lonely, and sink deeper in depression. This is why depression eventually kills – first your spirit and then, in some cases, the person itself!

To be sure, being depressed never solved anyone’s problems. Crying over a problem does not solve it either. But what is good about flushing out, venting, crying is that it purges all your negativity. Getting it all out, letting it all go, every once in a while, cleanses you and heals you. Flushing yourself may not take away your source of pain but it definitely reduces your suffering exponentially.
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If it has gone, simply, let it go!

When something or someone goes out of your Life, simply let ‘em go! Understand that loss is an integral part of living!
Last evening, my phone fell down on the street, hit a kerbside stone, and the display screen cracked irreparably. I was shocked for a nano-second. Then I picked up the instrument to check if it was working.  It was. I dusted it and moved on – after double-checking all its functions. I smiled to myself. Some years ago, I would never have been this way. I would have grieved and sulked. Especially, in a situation when replacing the phone instantly is not an option – I don’t have the means to buy a new phone! In fact, even this one was gifted to me by a friend some months ago. As I looked at my battered phone later in the evening, I remembered an incident that happened eight years ago. I am a collector of LAMY pens. And at that time, I was using one daily. I simply loved the look and feel of these pens. I was naturally very possessive about my LAMY collection. On a flight from Chennai to Mumbai, I lost my blue LAMY. I remember how I grieved through all my meetings that day in Mumbai and how I needed more than a few drinks that evening to get the blue LAMY out of my mind. In contrast, I felt good with myself surveying my phone last evening – with my ability to have let go of what had already gone (broke)!
There’s a beautiful song from the 1961 Tamil classic Paalum Pazhamum(A.Bhimsingh, Sivaji Ganesan, Saroja Devi) which goes “Ponaal Pogattum Poda…” (Viswanathan-Ramamoorthy, Kannadasan, T.M. Soundarajan). The lyrics basically mean, “If it has gone, let it go…everything/everyone is impermanent…)! That song, to me, sums up what Life is all about! 

Indeed. Everything and everyone around us has to go one day. The very nature of Life is impermanent. If you pause for a moment to reflect, you will realize that you came with nothing and you will go with nothing. Your name, your wealth, your qualifications, your experiences, your memories, your relationships – nothing will make it with you. When it is your time, you will have to go. Period. This is one non-negotiable quality about Life. Then, if you care to reflect more, why do we cling on to almost everyone and everything? It is because we cling on, because we don’t let go, that we suffer. What happens to us is not in our control – whether it is a broken mobile phone or a broken relationship or the death of someone we love. But how we let things and people go, when it is time for them to go, out of our lives, can truly impact how we feel about and experience Life. If you resist what’s going or gone, you will find Life to be an endless struggle. But if you let go gracefully, you will be drenched in inner peace and happiness – no matter what the circumstances are!