It was a beautiful moment of awakening and discovery for me personally. Here I was grappling with what I didn’t have – a car, and so was steeped in scarcity thinking, wondering how a child who had never ever used public transport would cope. And here was Life that had blessed me and my wife with such a wonderful daughter who not only had the maturity to accept our current reality – in which anything material, even a basic taken-for-granted gadget, device, instrument, machine or asset, is a luxury – but also had the sense of adventure to plunge head-on into an environment she was not familiar with. I don’t share this by way of self-congratulation or to praise my child, but I share to tell you how beautiful Life’s ways are. Our daughter (and son) fills our Life with abundance – this blessing far outweighs what we don’t have and what, perhaps, no longer matters!
Don’t question Life. Don’t ask ‘why’ or ‘why me’ or ‘why me now’? Simply learn to accept everything with a deep gratitude and everything will just be fine!
The key causes of suffering are anger, grief and guilt. When you are angry over what has happened you ask ‘why’ or ‘why me’ or ‘why me now’? In merely asking those questions you suffer – because you are not likely to get any answers from Life! When you are consumed by grief over what has happened, when you live in the past, you suffer. When you consider what you have contributed to the situation that you find yourself in you will naturally feel guilty. But don’t live burdened by guilt. If you do, you will suffer endlessly. Anger, grief and guilt are normal responses to Life situations. But you must have the ability, cultivated through your awareness, to drop these debilitating emotions. When you do that, you will see your suffering vanish.
None of us has a claim on our lifetimes. We have no claim on our existence. Life is a gift. We never asked to be born. This Life was given to us. So, whatever comes with this Life, kabhi khushi, kabhi gham, is a gift. So, we have no choice but to accept what comes our way. It is when we resist what we get that we suffer. Such resisting will make us grumpy, angry and miserable.
Stop resisting and accept with gratitude – whatever you have for now, and you will not suffer. When there’s no suffering, you will see the pristine nature of Life in each situation. A deep gratitude then will arise in you. And move you to be humble and accepting of the Life that you have.
Life is an eternal blessing, an endless course of abundance. We are not seeing this always because we are steeped in scarcity thinking!
Focusing on what we don’t have comes naturally to all of us. But for each thing that we don’t have or for each dimension of our Life where there’s something scarce, there’s a blessing, another aspect that’s soaked in abundance. For every dark cloud that hangs over us, there is the proverbial silver lining. To find it, we must just let go of our grief over what has happened and of what we don’t have, and simply survey what we have left with us. When we let go and learn to live with what we have we will immediately experience inner peace.
Some months ago, I had to sell my car. It was old and was breaking down far too frequently. There wasn’t money to either fix it or replace it with another car. We simply had to let it go. It was a difficult decision, having had a car for over 25 years, for as long as I have been independent and married. The question that confronted me – and my wife – was how would our daughter manage. She had never used public transport before. Not that she was spoilt by luxury. Hardly. But there had miraculously never been a need for her to take a bus or auto-rickshaw ever – to school or to her social outings or to college. We called her and updated her of our hard decision and predicament. We advised her to use autos for transport. To our surprise, she declined. She said she understood the situation we are in and so wanted to use train and bus for her commute. We tried explaining to her that since we was not used to either mode, she may find it difficult to cope with the crowds at rush hour. But she insisted that she wanted to give it a shot. We agreed that she would try for two weeks at which point we would review. In exactly a fortnight our daughter came back to declare that she was “comfortable and was settling in” with her new reality. She said it so simply, so responsibly and so convincingly that we did not feel like countering her with our parental anxiety and reasoning.
Indeed. There’s so much abundance in us and around us. And not all of it is material or linked to money or to what money can buy. Most of it, in fact, can make us happier even if we didn’t have money or things with us. Someone I know, Madhuri Velegar, who used to write for Femina magazine from Bangalore, died of cancer a couple of days ago. A friend pulled out what she had written sometime back (on how she felt in her last days) and posted it on facebook: “…I got drawn into meditation. Almost daily I stared long at the Gulmohar tree and its flowers outside my house. I waited for sunsets, I sat under the morning sun, I worshipped the rain…” That’s the abundance that I am talking of.
Our lives are abundant too. Our sunrises and sunsets, the rains, the flowers, the birds, the love and warmth of our children and the companionship of our soul-mates, all these are available to us and are waiting to soak us in abundance. Provided, of course, we stop complaining about what we don’t have and instead celebrate what we have! When we do that we too will realize what a wonderful gift Life is and what a blessing it is to be alive!