When there’s no one to be touched!

No hurt or insult will touch you if you don’t allow it to.
Whenever you feel hurt at what someone tells you, remember it is your ego which is acting up. You question, often subconsciously, why someone has behaved in a manner that you don’t endorse. That you don’t subscribe to. Your ego tells you to fight that behavior. And then the drama begins. You tell the person something harsh. That person retaliates. Then you must say something in return. And on, and on, this game of ping-pong goes on. Or you are unable to retort and so you suffer within. You carry the injury, the wound from the hurt, all the while. Your ego keeps reminding you of how unfairly you have been treated. It sets you off on a journey of anger, self-pity and grief. And you let the wound fester there – causing you more pain, making you suffer more – and more!
But think of what can happen if you choose to ignore the insult. If you refuse to let it affect you. What if someone calls you an idiot and you just ignore that expression totally. Then there will be no hurt. And therefore no suffering. To reach this state all you need to remember that each one is entitled to their opinion. If someone expresses his or her opinion, take it on board if it is worth it. If it will cause agony – drop it. Or rather don’t even catch it. Let the comment, barb, jibe, insult – whatever, let it pass.
Periodically check out how well you are faring on this evolutionary journey. Choose a 24-hour period and promise yourself that you will not react or retort to whatever may be said about you – no matter what the context is or what the provocation is. Notice that you will feel infinitely better without taking on board all the comments – about you – that come your way. This definitely works wonders when it comes to dealing with hurts and insults. But it also is a great way to stay grounded – especially when a lot of praise is heaped on. If you let both, insult and praise, to pass, you will never be allowing your ego to be in the driver’s seat! When the ego is not driving you, you cannot be touched. Because then, as per Tao, there’s no one to be touched!

Advertisements

Be unmoved. Be peaceful.

Don’t let neither praise nor insults affect you. Be unmoved. And you will be peaceful – always.
Who doesn’t love to be praised? Or be recognized? Everyone loves it and enjoys being praised thoroughly. And, by the same logic, everyone loathes being insulted or slighted. We often get angry when someone is nasty and react with a typical “how dare you” in such situations. Neither the joy when being praised nor the anger when insulted is justified. Both will bring grief. If you really want to be peaceful choose to be unaffected, unmoved.
A Zen story comes to mind.
There once lived a great warrior. A Master. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation travelled far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.
One day a villainous, scheming, young warrior arrived in the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great Master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit the weakness in any opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted in a match with him beyond the first bout.
Much against the advice of his students, the old Master gladly accepted the young warrior’s challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old Master. He threw dirt and spit on his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he felt shamed.
Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old Master and questioned him: “How could you endure such an indignity? Yet, how did you manage to drive him away?”
“If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it,” the Master replied, “to whom does the gift belong?”
Reacting to insults is a waste of energy.Because if you don’t accept the “gift” it is really not yours – so why bother? And getting carried away by praise is of no use either. Because if you really know your Self, you will realize that you have created nothing and so don’t deserve any accolade or recognition! The best stance to take is to be unmoved in either situation. That way you will be forever peaceful!