Live and love your Life fully – because you have only so much time left here!
A friend who called me yesterday wanted to know how the ‘romance’ between Vaani and me has stayed alive – although we have been together for close to 30 years. He said, “As the years go by, people say they get into the rut of everyday Life and claim there’s no time for romance!” He went on to pun on the famous 1964 Tamizh film by C.V.Sridhar ‘Kaadhalikka Neram Ilai’ (English: No Time To Love; Muthuraman, Nagesh, Rajashree, Sachu, T.S.Baliah) and asked, “Everyone says ‘Kaadhalikka Neram Ilai’ but you seem to make the time! How do you both do it?”
Well, there’s nothing special we do. We just wear our Life on our sleeve (in today’s context, sleeve includes Facebook!!!) and live it 70MM! That’s it. You get what you see with both of us.
Again, let me reiterate that there’s nothing special about what we do. I feel the romance between two people is dubbed private quite unnecessarily. If terrorism and violence can happen openly, if trolling can happen openly, then why can’t people profess their love for each other openly? I believe there is no stigma attached, and must never be either, with expressing ourselves openly. After all, it is only through our love and companionship, that Vaani and I are able to journey along through our cathartic times. Besides, when everything material has been taken away from us, what we have left is only our love and togetherness as a couple and as a family – including our strong bond and friendship with our children, Aashirwad and Aanchal.
But Vaani and I go beyond us, or our children; we also love Life! We totally believe that there is magic in each moment. And so each moment must be fully lived, appreciating and valuing what is, loving what is. For instance, on our walks, Vaani will stop by a flower in someone’s yard and admire it. She will point to the birds chirping and celebrate those sounds. We both love movies, so we watch whatever comes up on TV. And invariably, each movie, irrespective of language, has a spiritual, Life learning. We pick it up. We read something in the papers, we will research it, learn from it. When we talk about our problems, we will address them squarely without judging them, without hating them. So, in a sense, there’s a romance there too – as in, we say, “The problem is here, we can’t wish it away, what do we do to deal with it with equanimity?”
There are some times when we are in unenviable situations and contexts, like I was on a radiologist’s table, being scanned, some years back. If I had the condition that the surgeon was suspecting, I needed an emergency surgery. And we had no money, no health insurance. So, if the worst happened, I would die. The moment this realization came into me, my fear and insecurity dissolved. I just started smiling. I was in a way admiring the moment and the Life I had lived. I smiled also because I was confident that should I die, Vaani will pick up from where I going to be leaving. So, this is the romance, the love we both have for not just each other, but for Life itself. This is what keeps us not just going, but thriving, with enthusiasm, with Life! (PS: The scan results pointed to a different medical condition that did not require surgery but need only a dose of antibiotics!)
I don’t think anyone should complain about time as scare resource in any context. It is uniformly available to all of us. After the breath we take, time is what is available without any prejudice to anyone, uniformly. So people who complain about lack of time to do what they want to do are kidding themselves. If you want to do something, you will always find the time. My humble plea to people is that don’t postpone loving, don’t postpone happiness, don’t postpone living! You can wait for eternity to solve all your problems and then start living, loving and thriving. Or you can keep journeying through Life romancing its every moment. We prefer to love Life and live it fully, happily, despite our circumstances. So, we find the time, anytime, to celebrate each other and what is. To be sure, what we have, what is, constitutes our ‘perfect’ Life. For all of us – for you, for us. Because it is always what it is. As the Buddha says, “When you realize everything is perfect, you will look up at the sky and laugh!”
I just did that! 🙂
So, if you don’t have time to love, review your priorities. Because there’s only so much time you have left here and you had better utilize all that time intelligently! Surely, when you do that, you will realize, kaadhalikka mattum thaan neram irrukku! Meaning, there’s time only to love – to love Life and to live it fully!
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