From wanting your Life to be different, just learn to love what is.
Last evening we met a friend who opened up to us about his Life. He said he had been out of circulation for the last three years because he was dealing with his own challenges – his business was not doing too well, his wife had separated from him, his children had gone away on their own Life journeys and he was literally coming back to an empty house every night. He said he didn’t know what to do. He was not sure if he must have an affair or hit the bottle or take up a sport or simply sulk. He said that as long as he kept asking ‘why’, ‘why me’ and ‘why me now’, he kept feeling miserable. But his quest for answers led him to inspirations – Osho, J.Krishnamurti, Thich Nhat Hanh – and those in turn led him to reflect on the true nature of Life. He says, “I soon found that happiness is a choice. I realized that I can’t always get what I want. So, I decided to live with and love what I have – my loneliness.” Once he accepted his current reality, our friend told us, he felt great peace within and soon he ended up finding more focus in whatever he was doing. His business is now picking up and he’s happy the way he is and with the world around him.
Our friend’s experience there is a beautiful example, a reminder of sorts, of how each of us has through our own unique Life paths. You have to feel lost in Life first before you go on to find yourself, find inner peace and happiness. Nobody can escape this aspect of Life. You have to bear your own cross, you have to face your demons and you have to go through what you have to go through.
It sure is possible to love what you want in Life. But how can you love what you don’t want? How can you love death? How can you love a grave illness? How can you love betrayal in a relationship or a financial loss? How can you love sorrow, fear and anxiety?
To at least accept, even if you can’t love, what you get in Life, you have to understand Life deeply. Actually, Life is pretty simple – it’s just not in your control! You have been created without your knowledge. Without your asking to be born. Your creation has been a magical event. But you have not known it. You have been created as an embodiment of the Universal Energy. But you hardly see yourself as that because the labels of your name, your religion, your education, your economic strata in society, your profession, your income, and many more such labels, have been stuck on you. These labels are the cause of all your desires. Each of your wants is a consequence of your having to live up to the reputation of the label that dominates your Life at a particular time or moment. For example, in reality, you don’t need many of the things that you buy and possess in Life – like a swanky car, a large apartment in a premium neighborhood, expensive jewellery, a club membership and such. But you have them around or desire them because you have a social standing to maintain. Society has packaged you in such a manner that you are acceptable to them. Who you truly are has been buried deep below several layers of those labels or masks. Beneath all of them is the non-wanting, non-desirous, accepting you. So, to be happy, you must just peel off the masks and labels that you wear for society’s sake, and get to the real you.
Wanting your Life to be one way or the other is what causes unhappiness. The truth is that you never caused your Life. And you can never control it. When you internalize this truth, you will discover that it changes the way you look at Life – from wanting Life to be different to loving what is! You will then realize that you can live fully and be happy despite your circumstances!