Skip to content

The AVIS Viswanathan Blog

the happynesswalaᵀᴹ – "Inspiring 'Happyness'"ᵀᴹ! Sharing Life Lessons from Lived Experiences! Inspired Speaker, Life Coach and Author of "Fall Like A Rose Petal"!

  • About AVIS
The AVIS Viswanathan Blog

Tag: Alia Bhatt

Aye Zindagi, Gale Lagaa Le…

Don’t resist Life – be ready and willing to flow with it!  

Gauri Shinde’s new film Dear Zindagi (Alia Bhatt and Shah Rukh Khan) has suddenly revived interest in the Ilayaraaja classic “Aye Zindagi, Gale Laga Le”   from Sadma (1983, Suresh Wadkar; Balu Mahendra, Kamal Haasan, Sri Devi). I am yet to see Shinde’s film, but I spent much of the weekend listening to the original song by Wadkar (the new version is sung by Arijit Singh); I simply love Gulzar saab’s lyrics…the opening line means…“Come, embrace me Life; don’t I embrace all the pain that you send my way…?”

As I write this blogpost, I remain immersed in the spiritual essence of this song…it teaches us to accept the Life we have. But unfortunately, because of our social conditioning, we don’t learn this simple lesson early enough. We live much of our Life steeped in insecurity, resisting pain, asking why, why me, and so we suffer!

I can relate to this conditioning from my own experience. To be sure, I too felt insecure when I first came face to face, nine years ago, with the reality that we were insolvent and our Firm was bankrupt (read more in my Book Fall Like A Rose Petal ). Of course, I was devastated by the gravity of our crisis and was very, very scared of where we would end up in Life. But resisting the insecurity, wishing that things were different, only made me suffer. And in my suffering I could not focus. I was always unhappy. When you don’t focus or are unhappy, how can you function? How can you think of even attempting to solve your problems? While I could make sense of the futility of my suffering, I didn’t know where to start or what to do. What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

My daily practice of mouna (silence periods) helped me understand that all Life is impermanent, that pain is inevitable, and if we choose to embrace the Life we have, then we can completely avoid the suffering. I came to realize that Life really is an “adventure”, a “deep dive”, a “bunjee jump” into the unknown. Insecurity, pain and impermanence, I discovered, are the very weaves that make up the fabric of Life. Over time, I awakened to the truth that you can’t ever “fix” your Life, you can only flow with it, and allow Life to repair and reinvent on its own.

avis-viswanathan-life-is-an-adventure

When I started seeing Life from this new perspective, I saw that each day threw up a fresh episode of “adventure” – a legal twist here, an irate creditor who had lost patience with our situation there, bills to be paid for essential services like electricity and telephones when there was no money to even buy groceries, a health situation to be urgently addressed; yet each time we thought it was all over, help, a.k.a miracles, arrived from unexpected quarters. No day, as Vaani and I have experienced, has been the same. Honestly, not all the stuff that comes our way on a daily basis, however new or fresh it is, is appetizing. But however much we feel spent at the end of each day, we wake up revived the next day. And take that day’s “adventure” head-on. This is how we have been living, in fact thriving, this past decade. In this time, it has become clear to me that Life has all along been, and will continue to be incredible, inscrutable and, therefore, insecure. Clearly, Vaani and I don’t have that sense of security that a steady income can provide, yet when we stopped feeling insecure about it, and let go, and let Life take over, things have happened on their own. We have learnt that our duty is to make our daily efforts and let the results take care of themselves. Even so, we don’t deserve, nor do we claim, any credit for the way we have learnt to live our Life. Why would anyone want a crisis, and as in our case, a prolonged state of cashlessness and worklessness? We simply chose to accept the Life we got and we have.

This numbing phase of our Life has taught us to live with insecurity. There are days, several times in a month, when we really don’t know what will happen from an income or business point of view.  But we know fully well that we will be taken care of. Maybe this is what they call faith. Not in an external God. But in Life itself – that if you have been created and you are in whatever situation you are placed in, you will be cared for, provided for and looked after. Maybe this is what Gulzar saab’s lyrics, with the song’s revival, are trying to remind us; that always be ready and willing to flow with Life! So, Aye Zindagi, Gale Lagaa Le…!

PS: If you liked this blogpost, please share it to help spread the learning it carries!

 

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on November 28, 2016November 28, 2016Categories Fear, Happiness, Inner Peace, Insecurity, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Alia Bhatt, Arijit Singh, Art of Living, AVIS Viswanathan, Aye Zindagi Gale Lagaa Le, Balu Mahendra, Dear Zindagi, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Fear, Fear of Unknown, Fearlessness, Gauri Shinde, Gulzar, Happiness, Happiness Curator, Ilayaraaja, Inner Peace, Insecurity, Intelligent Living, Kamal Haasan, Let Life Take Over, Life, Life Coach, Life is an Adventure, Mouna, Osho, Pain, Shah Rukh Khan, Spirituality, Sri Devi, Suffering, Suresh Wadkar, Uncategorized, VaaniLeave a comment on Aye Zindagi, Gale Lagaa Le…

Living a lie makes a “familie” – dysfunctional, fractious, unhappy!

Mutual trust, respect, space and brutally honest conversations make a family a home that people can come back to!

kns_1458292287_600x450
Kapoor & Sons (Since 1921)

We watched Shakun Batra’s very sensitive, brutally honest, Kapoor & Sons (Since 1921) yesterday. It had more than fifty shades of what some families witness – imperfection – written all over it: everyday squabbles emerging from a lack of trust, absence of honest conversations and an incessant tendency to interpret rather than understand each other. Most important, three of the four members of the Kapoor family were living a lie. The only one, Arjun (Siddharth Malhotra), who was honest with himself and with rest of the world, was suffering from a huge inferiority complex, having been constantly ‘branded’ ‘the imperfect one’.

I come from a dysfunctional family. And I have always been ‘the imperfect one’ – son and brother. The reason why I was branded so was, as I perhaps realize now, because I was always calling everyone’s bluff. So, I can relate to the big message that Batra so matter-of-factly, unpreachingly, delivers through the film: if people in a family are living a lie it makes them a ‘familie’ – dysfunctional, fractious, unhappy!

Fundamentally, we must review our understanding of what a family must be. A family is not just a congregation of people – which, in fact, it physically is. A family is an opportunity for this congregation to be home to its people. It is where people must disagree, agree to co-exist, come back to each other, be there for each other, hold up mirrors to each other, fight, break-up, make-up and move on. It is where people must be allowed to be who they are. And where they must be invited to be true to themselves and to each other. So, conceptually, a family is never going to be perfect. It will have its share of upheavals. And these upheavals do not happen because of one person or the other. Upheavals are a part of Life – of the passage of time – and are inevitable when people live together. Just as they happen in – and to – communities, they happen in – and to – families too. Yet, a family becomes dysfunctional when its people cease to have honest, brutally honest, conversations and choose to always interpret, than understand, each other. Mutual trust, respect and space are integral to nurture a family. If people in a family cannot offer each other the space to be who they are – and sort out themselves whenever they feel lost, while being available for each other no matter what – then the very idea of family becomes irrelevant. Then people may as well live in a ghetto or in isolation! But the unkindest cut of all that a family can ever be subjected to is when people are dishonest with each other to the extent that they live in denial, live a Life of lies and, worse, imagine they are the perfect family – because all families are imperfect; imperfection is the new perfection, you see!

Batra’s Kapoor & Sons (Since 1921) is unpretentious even in its last scene when it makes a very fervent appeal – do not squander away the time you have together in pettiness, for we are all speeding towards our death, albeit at different speeds! In my opinion, since I come from one, dysfunctional families are beyond redemption especially if people continue to be dishonest and manipulative. But if an honest conversation can salvage your family please go ahead and attempt having one – now! But if you try and don’t succeed, at least step out of such a ‘familie’ – so you are not living a lie anymore and so that you exercise your opportunity to live happily ever after!

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on March 24, 2016March 24, 2016Categories UncategorizedTags Alia Bhatt, Art of Living, AVIS Viswanathan, Dharma Productions, Dysfunctional Family, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Family, Fawad Khan, Happiness, Honest Conversations, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Kapoor & Sons (Since 1921), Karan Johar, Rajat Kapoor, Ratna Pathak Shah, Rishi Kapoor, Shakun Batra, Siddharth Malhotra, UncategorizedLeave a comment on Living a lie makes a “familie” – dysfunctional, fractious, unhappy!
Follow The AVIS Viswanathan Blog on WordPress.com

Advisory & Disclaimer

1. The author, AVIS, shares Life lessons here that he has gleaned from his lived experiences. AVIS has nothing against or for any religion. If the reader has a learning to share, they are most welcome. If the reader makes a communal or inflammatory or derogatory comment, or presents a view which may affect the sentiments of other followers/readers, then this Blog’s administrators may have to regrettably delete such a comment and even block such a follower. 2. The lived experiences shared here and the learnings gleaned from them are unique and personal to AVIS. The copyright for all original content here, that has been written/created by AVIS, belongs to AVIS Viswanathan. Important, AVIS has no interest in either infringing upon or claiming copyright of any referenced material published on this Blog. The images/videos used on this Blog, that are not created by AVIS, are purely for illustrative purposes. They belong to their original owners/creators. The author does not intend profiting from them nor is there any covert claim to copyright any of them.

Recent Posts

  • Faith is the way
  • Channelize your anger
  • Pause and reflect
  • Give in to Life
  • Acceptance is the way to inner peace

Archives

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012

Categories

  • Acceptance
  • Art of Living
  • AVIS on Happyness
  • AVIS on Leadership
  • Awareness
  • Celebrate Life
  • Companionship
  • Compassion
  • Contentment
  • Courage
  • Crisis
  • Death
  • Detachment
  • Divinity
  • Ego
  • Enlightenment
  • Equanimity
  • Face Life
  • Failure
  • Faith
  • Fall Like A Rose Petal
  • Fear
  • Fearlessness
  • Follow your Bliss
  • Forgiveness
  • Gandhi
  • Go with the Flow
  • God
  • Godliness
  • Grace
  • Gratitude
  • Grief
  • Guilt
  • Guilty
  • Happiness
  • Help Yourself to Happiness
  • Humility
  • Impermanence
  • Inner Peace
  • Insecurity
  • Integrity of Purpose
  • Intelligent Living
  • Joy
  • Leadership
  • Let Go
  • Let's Talk Happyness
  • Life
  • Life Lessons
  • Live in the moment
  • Living in the Now
  • Living in the Present
  • Love
  • Mindfulness
  • Miracles
  • Mouna
  • Move On
  • Non-frustrated
  • Non-Suffering
  • Non-worrying
  • Osho
  • Pain
  • Parenting
  • Patience
  • Pause & Reflect
  • Peace
  • Prayer
  • Purpose
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • Resilience
  • Responsible Citizenship
  • Rise In Love
  • Sad
  • Sadness
  • Shirdi Sai Baba
  • Silence
  • Silence Periods
  • Spirituality
  • Success
  • Suffering
  • Surrender
  • Swami Sathya Sai Baba
  • The AVIS Viswanathan Podcast
  • The Bliss Catchers
  • the happynesswala
  • the happynesswalas
  • Uncategorized
  • Uncertainty
  • Unhappiness
  • Why Me?
  • Why?
  • Worry
  • Zen
  • About AVIS
The AVIS Viswanathan Blog Create a website or blog at WordPress.com
  • Follow Following
    • The AVIS Viswanathan Blog
    • Join 102 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The AVIS Viswanathan Blog
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...