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Tag: Expectations

Drop your expectations & keep moving…

AVIS-on-Happyness

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on September 28, 2019Format ImageCategories Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Art of Living, AVIS on Happyness, AVIS Viswanathan, Expectations, Expectations bring Agony, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Happiness, Inner Peace, Inspiring Happiness, Inspiring Happyness, Intelligent Living, Life, Life Coach, Life Coaching, Life Lessons, Life Quotes, Non-Suffering, Pain, Suffering, the happynesswala, the happynesswalasLeave a comment on Drop your expectations & keep moving…

Drop the pursuit. Simply follow what you believe in.

AVIS-on-Happiness

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on May 9, 2019May 9, 2019Format ImageCategories AVIS on Happyness, Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Ambition, Art of Living, AVIS on Happyness, AVIS Viswanathan, Expectations, Expectations bring Agony, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Flow with Life, Frustration, Go with the Flow, Goal, Happiness, Inner Peace, Inspiring Happiness, Inspiring Happyness, Intelligent Living, Life, Life Coach, Life Coaching, Life Lessons, Life Quotes, Spirituality, the happynesswalaLeave a comment on Drop the pursuit. Simply follow what you believe in.

Living together does not necessarily guarantee harmony

AVIS-on-Happiness

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on April 27, 2019April 27, 2019Format ImageCategories Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Art of Living, AVIS on Happyness, AVIS Viswanathan, Expectations, Expectations bring Agony, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Happiness, Harmony, Inner Peace, Inspiring Happiness, Inspiring Happyness, Intelligent Living, Life, Life Coach, Life Coaching, Life Lessons, Life Quotes, the happynesswalaLeave a comment on Living together does not necessarily guarantee harmony

If it is meant for you, it will come to you!

AVIS-on-Happiness

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on April 8, 2019Format ImageCategories Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Acceptance, Anxiety, Art of Living, AVIS on Happyness, AVIS Viswanathan, Compassion, Deservance, Deserve, Despair, Expectations, Expectations bring Agony, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Gratitude, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Let Go, Let Life Take Over, Letting Go, Move On, Spirituality, Suffer, Suffering, the happynesswala, Total Acceptance, Total SurrenderLeave a comment on If it is meant for you, it will come to you!

A little secret to protect your inner peace and happiness

AVIS-on-Happiness

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on April 6, 2019April 6, 2019Format ImageCategories Expectations, Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Agony, Anger, Art of Living, AVIS Viswanathan, Detachment, Dispassionate, Equanimity, Expectations, Expectations bring Agony, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Grief, Inner Peace, Inspiring Happiness, Inspiring Happyness, Intelligent Living, Let Go, Life, Life Coach, Life Coaching, Life Lessons, Life Quotes, Move On, Spirituality, Suffering, the happynesswala, UnmovedLeave a comment on A little secret to protect your inner peace and happiness

Why cook under pressure when you can be free?

When you simply are, you are happy!  

Nona Walia asks a very important question in The Times of India yesterday: “Is the pressure to be happy making us sad?” She’s asking her question in the context of her article on how there is a fatigue around the Self Help industry. But I wish to examine the question for what it simply is.

To understand happiness, let us first understand sadness. You are sad when you don’t get what you want or when what you don’t want arrives in your Life. Sadness cannot be avoided. And you must not even try to run away from it. You can’t escape it. When sadness arrives, hold it, examine it, feel it. Ask yourself how you are feeling when you are sad. Ask yourself if your sadness is serving any purpose? When you answer these two questions, in your own way, you will discover that sadness is a debilitating, wasteful emotion. Then you will be compelled to let go of it, to drop it.

When you let go of sadness, you can only be happy.

Now, let us understand happiness. To do that, we must understand Life. What comes between you and your living your Life fully – for what it is – are your expectations. You expect that your Life must be this way or that way. But Life has a mind of its own. It happens no matter what you want or how you are feeling. So, when you understand the futility of expectations, you will drop them too. It is only your expectations that bring you agony, that cause your suffering.

Drop your expectations and you will be free, you will be happy.

AVIS-Viswanathan-When-there-is-no-pressure-you-are-happy

Now, going back to Nona’s question, “Is the pressure to be happy making us sad?” – yes, absolutely! But, why allow a pressure to build up in the first place. Who do you have to prove anything to by being either happy or sad? If you like to be sad, if you like that dragging, melancholic, heavy, Guru Dutt-Meena Kumari-like feeling, keep holding on to it. If like to be happy, be happy. Where’s the pressure? I guess the pressure comes, when people know they can be happy but avoid being happy because they think that being happy is a selfish act – how can I be happy when everyone else around me is struggling, is sad or is suffering?

Which is why it is critical you understand happiness and define it appropriately.

To me, happiness is being non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering. Non-worrying, because I understand the futility of worrying, so I don’t hold on to any worries, I watch them rise and ebb away. Non-frustrated, because I know I don’t and I can’t control the outcomes of my actions. So, I stay focused on only the actions, and accept, humbly without resisting, whatever results come my way. And non-suffering, because I don’t have any expectations from anyone or anything – I just take it as it comes. The key operative word in my definition of happiness is being – be happy being who you are, with what is! When you are just being, when you simply are, there is no pressure to become something. When there is no pressure – nothing to prove, nothing to claim, nothing to protect, nothing to escape, nothing to cling on to – you are happy!

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on April 17, 2017Categories Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Art of Living, AVIS Viswanathan, Expectations, Expectations bring Agony, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Guru Dutt, Happiness, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Just Being, Meena Kumari, Non-frustrated, Non-Suffering, Non-worrying, Nona Walia, Pain, Sadness, Suffering, Times of India, Unhappiness, VaaniLeave a comment on Why cook under pressure when you can be free?

Why I find ‘Katru Veliyidai’s’ message deeply spiritual

Loving, in the present continuous, is essential for a relationship to thrive despite all differences.

We watched Mani Ratnam’s new movie Katru Veliyidai last evening. Viewers have panned the film for many reasons. Principal among them is the view, held by many, that Dr.Leela (Aditi Rao Hydari) continues to accommodate, accept and love VC (Karthi) despite being “humiliated and trampled upon” by him. The question people are asking is: Why should a film portray a woman in such light; why can’t Dr.Leela have been a much stronger woman who slaps VC back, who tramples him back, who rightfully asserts herself and claims an equal place in their relationship?

I have three points to make about the movie. 1. I liked it a lot – for most parts. 2. Perhaps because the story-telling was not so linear, and perhaps people these days often rush to pronounce judgment on social media on people and events, viewers missed what Mani Ratnam so aesthetically communicated through the film. 3. And that is the fact that Dr.Leela is indeed a strong woman – who asserts herself from the first instance in the blizzard. But her assertion is never vitriolic. Her loving of VC (not just her love for him) is as powerful as her seeking her space, her dignity. Despite the way he treats her, she is still relating to him, so she continues loving him. Yet, when he refuses to have their baby, she decides to walk away from him – not quite walking out on him – while continuing to be loving. There is a present continuous state to her loving, just as there is a present continuous state to her asking to be treated with respect. And that’s why I say Mani Ratnam’s tried to convey his point very aesthetically – he’s not spelt it out, he’s not laid it all there in a linear sequence; you pick what you want, the way you want to.

There’s not just an aesthetic quality to the film visually, its very essence is so. This is what I gleaned from the movie – that when two people are loving, they may have their differences, they may have their own independent personas, but they will still be able to relate to each other in a special way! Now, this is not a filmy situation alone – this is so true about Life, and about so many of our stories out there. The problem with society is that we expect people to conform to stereotypes. But surely, there are as many different characterizations in personalities out there as there are people. And each one evolves and changes with time, through their experiences. This is what happens to VC through his reflection, through his incarceration in a Pakistani jail. I truly believe that loving is more important and more relevant than the singular act of falling in love. When there is loving, then there is a flow, there’s a freedom to be who you are. Then it is present continuous. Then there is a relating. And only when two people are relating to each other, despite their differences, can their relationship thrive. That’s really what happens in Mani Ratnam’s Katru Velyidai, to his Dr.Leela and VC.

AVIS-Viswanathan-Loving-is-more-important-than-the-singular-act-of-falling-in-love

To me the takeaway is deeply spiritual. It offers an aesthetic value that’s not commonly understood or appreciated. As social animals, and as social media content creators and consumers, we expect everything in a “black and white”, in a “my way or the highway” format. But Life doesn’t to conform to any formats, formulae or structures. Life’s creations – all of us included – are all at the same time unique, and flawed, just as VC and Dr.Leela are, who live and love on their own terms. The key is to celebrate everyone for who they are, while celebrating yourself, and to keep on loving, as undefineably, as expansively as the breeze (Katru Veliyidai), without expectations, without conditions, without limitations…And some day, the one who continues to relate to your loving, will find their way to you, no matter what – or who – comes in the way!

Author AVIS ViswanathanPosted on April 11, 2017April 11, 2017Categories Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Life, Spirituality, UncategorizedTags Aditi Rao Hydari, Art of Living, AVIS Viswanathan, Bharathiyar, Celebrate Life, Celebrate Yourself, Expectations, Fall Like A Rose Petal, Falling in Love, Inner Peace, Intelligent Living, Karthi, Katru Veliyidai, Love, Loving, Mani Ratnam, Relating, Relationships, Subramania Bharathi, VaaniLeave a comment on Why I find ‘Katru Veliyidai’s’ message deeply spiritual

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Disclaimer 1: The author, AVIS, does not claim that he is the be-all, know-all and end-all of all that he shares based on experiences and learnings. AVIS has nothing against or for any religion. If the reader has a learning to share, most welcome. If the reader has a bone to pick or presents a view, which may affect the sentiments of other followers/readers, then this Page’s administrators may have to regrettably delete such a comment and even block such a follower. Disclaimer 2: No Thought expressed here is original though the experience of the learning shared may be unique. AVIS has little interest in either infringing upon or claiming copyright of any referenced material published on this Page. The images/videos used on this Page/Post, that are not created by AVIS, are purely for illustrative purposes. They belong to their original owners/creators. The author does not intend profiting from them nor is there any covert claim to copyright any of them.

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