Don’t get used or consumed by social media

The Purpose of art is not to earn fame or material assets

Your talent is not yours – it has been given to you!

Be detached from the outcomes – and you will be happy

True success lies in being who you are, in doing what you love doing!

What the genius ‘musafir’ Pancham’s Life teaches us about our own

You cannot escape what’s in store for you in Life – you have to bear your cross, no matter what!

Google reminded me that it is R.D.Burman’s 77th birthday today. Panchamda is my absolute, all-time, favorite. He passed away so suddenly 22 years ago with so much music still left in him.

During the last 10 years of his Life, the man who ruled Hindi film music in the late 60s, all through the 70s and in the early 80s, struggled to get work. Bappi Lahiri’s disco music had taken over and nobody wanted to touch Pancham. Not even Nasir Hussain, who had consistently used RD for all his films that included (and followed) Teesri Manzil (1966). Hussain let his son Mansoor Khan have his way and signed up Anand-Milind for his production Qayyamat Se Qayyamat Tak (1988), which famously launched Aamir Khan’s and Juhi Chawla’s careers. Interestingly, Panchamda got no National Award in his entire career and won only 3 Filmfare Awards (out of a total 18 nominations) – Sanam Teri Kasam (1983), Masoom (1984) and posthumously for 1942 – A Love Story (1995). Observers and chroniclers of Hindi cinema say that RD died a beaten and heart-broken man because he felt the industry that he gave so much to, “abandoned him and moved on with the times”.

Anyone who has heard Mera Kuch Samaan  from Ijaazat (Gulzar, Asha Bhosle, 1987) or Dhanno Ki Aankhon Mein  from Kitaab (Gulzar, RD himself, 1977) will agree with me that RD is sheer genius. In fact, long-time collaborator, lyricist and director Gulzar refers to Pancham’s Life as an “era that began and ended with him”. To be sure, RD, Gulzar and Kishore Kumar together produced magic and the collection of the songs they created together would rate as the finest and most brilliant ever in Indian cinema. Why then should such a genius have had to go hunting for work? Why then should he be spurned by the same film-makers who once queued up at his door? Why then should such a celebrated artiste die a heart-broken man? Well, while there is no straight, logical answer to these questions; the only one I can muster is that “such is Life”!

Indeed. Such is Life. What goes up will come down. And what goes down will come up again. So, RD’s Life teaches us, yet again, to appreciate the impermanence of everything. Name. Fame. Wealth. Success. Glory. And even failure. Because, though he died wanting to be celebrated again, posthumously, RD is now worshipped. Such is Life! What I have learnt is that we must keep going with the flow. Be humble and be happy for all that you have. When you get what you want in Life, be grateful. When you don’t get what you want in Life, or when you get what you don’t want in Life, be accepting. Don’t fight Life. Don’t become bitter. You are born untouched by worldliness. Live untouched. And go away untouched. Success and failure are both worldly labels. Don’t let them get to you. As they seem to have gotten to RD in his last years. To quote my favorite RD number, again written by Gulzar, and sung memorably by Kishore Kumar, be like that ‘musafir’ (wanderer/voyager) from Parichay (1972): Musafir Hoon Yaroon, Na Ghar Hai Na Tikhana, Mujhe Chalte Jaana Hai, Bus, Chalte Jaana…!!!

You are not what you are going through

Your circumstances are no indication of your true nature, your capability or potential.

Last week we had lunch with a prominent industrialist who sought us out after reading my Book Fall Like A Rose Petal (Westland). He confided in us that he was on the verge of bankruptcy. He feared that if he came out and told this to the world, he would lose his reputation and his social stature. But he was not liking hiding the truth either. He felt he was unable to face the world living this dual Life – of putting on a rich-and-famous front while actually borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. He sounded broken and beaten. He wanted to know how he must handle his situation.

We did not offer him business advice. Instead, we asked him to first understand that resisting or hiding from his reality was not going to help him at all. He had to realize that only facing his reality could help him deal with the situation. So, we suggested to him that instead of running away, he must actually be open about his problems, wear his bankruptcy on his sleeve and deal with it one day at a time. His bankruptcy was just a phase of his Life. He has been very successful over the years. And this phase does not mean that he lacks business acumen or that he is a poor human being.

Consider this: if a Mercedes Benz were to be driven through a dirt track, does it mean the Merc has lost its class? Of course not. So it is with you and me. You are who you are. Period. Sometimes the going’s great. Sometimes it’s tough. To imagine that what’s happening to you is a reflection of your capability or potential is not abundance thinking. It is plain, unimaginative thinking and reflects a poor understanding of Life. But if you have been thinking so, like the industrialist we met, let me comfort you by telling you that you alone are not to blame. Your upbringing, our society, all of this has conditioned you to think that you are as good as what you have. And what you have is evaluated by society only by its material value – mainly fame and wealth. Since peace of mind and happiness have no material value, they are worthless in society’s eyes! So, by social standards, if your business is doing great or if you have a paying job, if you have an apartment with no lien on it, if you have enough retirement fund in the bank, you are great! And if your business fails, you lose your job, if you have your apartment taken away, and no money in the bank, well, then what? Well, then, you are a failure! And interestingly you will believe what society thinks of you and will not even want to consider who you really are!

This conditioning has crippled you. Stop that thinking. Know that all the money in the world cannot buy you your peace of mind or a good night’s sleep or even a moment’s happiness. Your circumstances may be bad, sad, ugly, devastating and torturous. But you can remain untouched, unaffected if you know and believe that you are not what you are going through!

Lessons from a Star and a Super Star

Never get deceived by success and fame. They are both fickle and fleeting.

Yuvi: With Player of The Tournament Trophy and ICC ODI WC 2011 Picture Courtesy: Internet

As the curtains came down on the ICC T20 WC at Dhaka last night, India’s sad loss in the Final led to angry fans venting their fury against Yuvraj Singh, once India’s Star player, online. While many critical views were expressed, questioning the pace of his innings (11 runs off 21 balls) and his very place in the team, some were outrageously rabid. Many called Yuvi a traitor. Some called him an “idiot” or such other uncharitable names. Although in Life, and in sport, you are only as good as your last effort or innings, and while critique is understandable, my personal view is that mindless criticism must ideally be avoided. Yuvi’s classic performance in the ICC ODI WC in 2011, which India won, and in which he was the Player of the Tournament, seems to have been forgotten. Also his record-making, six sixes in an over in the 2007 ICC T20 WC in South Africa, seemed a distant, historic data point last night. What was uppermost on everyone’s mind was that Yuvi had failed – yet again in the just-concluded championship – and that he needed to be crucified for India’s defeat in the Finals.

There’s a lesson for all of us from this chapter in Yuvi’s roller-coaster Life – if we care to pause and reflect. I am not suggesting that we should not review M S Dhoni’s decision to play Yuvi in the Final or in the slot that he batted. That’s the job of Team India and the selection committee of the BCCI. I am not saying fans don’t have a right to feel outraged. All I am saying is that here’s a lesson for all of us. No matter who you are or what you have achieved and how well you have served, when you fail, at whatever you are doing, you will find yourself alone. In that moment of loneliness, introspection is the key. Don’t grieve over what the world says, don’t agonize over the loss of fame or name, don’t brood over you actions – simply take Life as it is happening to you just then.

The nature of Life is that it can never keep you in one place. If you are on top, a fall is inevitable. If you are down, you can’t stay there for too long either – you will be hoisted up for sure. No fall is permanent. No conquest is forever. And no pole position is permanent. Each of us is a product of the time that we go through. For Yuvi, the fall will hurt harder because it is cricket – the sport is a religion in India, the fans are very demanding and unforgiving, and so he has to deal with a public scrutiny of his intent and talent. For many of us, our falls happen in our own limited, private, often small worlds. Even so, our pain will be the same as Yuvi’s. Whether you lose in business or in career or in a relationship – whatever be your loss, analysis by peers, family and society only makes the loss even more difficult to fathom and accept. The best way to deal with such situations is to remind yourself that everything is transient. Most certainly, fame, money, glory, success, defeat and loss are impermanent!

I remember an acceptance speech that Bollywood’s first and original Super Star Rajesh Khanna delivered at an India International Film Award event some years ago, when he received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the man who dethroned him from superstardom, Amitabh Bachchan. Khanna said: “Everything – name, fame, glory – everything is impermanent. Where I am now someone else was in this place and someone else will be in this place when I am gone…” (Follow this link Rajesh Khanna IFFA Acceptance Speech to listen to that memorable acceptance speech) This is the irrefutable truth about Life.

The lesson from Yuvi’s fall from grace last night – and from Khanna’s wisdom – is that we must learn to take success, defeat, fame, fall, glory and loss all in the stride. We must learn to practice equanimity – which is really the ability to be untouched and unmoved by anything, in any situation. This may appear difficult to do. But this is the only way you can be peaceful within – and avoid all suffering – even as you deal with Life’s vagaries outside.