A CISF Inspector named Siddarth – and a lesson in Buddhahood

It is the lack of empathy that makes our world a cold, unfriendly, place.

Since I am a public speaker, and I do often get invited to address audiences, I have been asked by my doctor to nurture and protect my vocal cords. So, I have now begin carrying a collar mic with me. This mic runs on 9V battery power. I have to carry spare 9V cells so I am never short of one.

Yesterday, at the airport, a CISF (Central Industrial Security Force – mandated with airport security in India) Inspector disallowed me from carrying the extra cells. We got into a discussion over the matter. Although I was upset, and initially angry too, I let it pass. I heard what the gentleman had to say. He patiently explained to me that he didn’t have a problem with me carrying one cell in the mic, but he would not be allowing the “extras” to go with me.

We spoke over the matter for about 10 minutes. We spoke in Hindi. At the end of it, he thanked me for my “badappan” – magnanimity – in understanding his point of view. And I thanked him for his courtesy and patience with my situation. All through the conversation, he wore a bright, friendly, look on him. He was calm and never intimidating. We parted ways shaking hands and wishing each other well.

This Blogpost comes close on the heels of an unfortunate episode where Indigo staffers allegedly manhandled a passenger – a story that continues to be shared virally and debated across India. Even otherwise, I have often found people at airports, across the world, being particularly uncharitable to security personnel. Both in terms of opinion and attitude, most passengers tend to consider security folks painful to deal with. In the past, I too have been grumpy whenever I have been ‘randomly’ selected, isolated and ‘patted down’ by TSA staff in American airports or when CISF people have asked for my laptop bag to be re-examined. But, over the years, thanks perhaps to my personal evolution and given the high-risk and vulnerable environment that prevails globally, I have learned to understand – and not interpret or imagine – the motives of airport security people. They have taught me empathy.

For instance, Siddarth, the CISF Inspector I dealt with yesterday, told me this: “Hamari koshish bas yehi hai ki hamari nigrani mein koi negative episode na ho jaye. Aap sab bhale logon ki suraksha hamara zimma hai.” – “Our endeavor is to ensure passenger safety and that nothing negative/untoward happens under our watch. We want to protect all you good people out there.” He added, “When passengers get upset with us for doing our jobs diligently, my staff do feel demoralized. But I tell them – forgive them. Keep calm and keep treating every passenger the way you like to be treated!”

I loved that lesson in empathy and Buddhahood. Treat others the way you like to be treated. The essence of empathy lies in understanding – and not in interpreting or imagining. Not just in the context of airport security and dealing with people in uniform, who are merely doing their duty, but in all situations, empathy is a great quality to nurture. You don’t have to necessarily agree with everyone’s point of view, but you can surely see that point of view, and understand the rationale behind the other person’s choices and actions.

It is the lack of empathy that makes our world a cold, unfriendly, place. What we need today is global heartwarming – more patience, more understanding, more empathy. We need more Buddhas, like the CISF Inspector Siddarth!

Why are we obsessed with the lives of others?

Investing all that time in yourself is a far more meaningful thing to do.

I watch helplessly as the world shreds and probes the Life of acclaimed singer Suchitra Kumar. Her husband, who is an actor and stand-up comedian, is a close friend. Despite his fervent appeal that Suchi be left alone, as she is going through an emotionally challenging phase, the Twitterati and the Page 3 media junta are dissecting the lady’s online activity and behavior. They call it #suchileaks! WhatsApp forwards are simply propagating unfounded information – sheer nonsense, that’s truly avoidable! A few of the couple’s colleagues in the entertainment industry are being uncharitable adding to the media frenzy. Here’s a situation, I believe, that can happen to any of us. Someone’s going through an emotional catharsis. And avoidable content is emerging from her Twitter handle. The family says they are trying to make sense of this. There’s a theory too that her account could have been hacked. Where is the need to rush and pronounce judgment on this? Why engage in frivolous commentary?

When I look at the #suchileaks drama, and society’s response to it, particularly on social media, I can only say that it is sadly reflective of how much our culture has degenerated. Just because we have access to social media platforms, just because we have an opinion on a matter, must we rush to put it out there? Critique is ok. But look at what we are doing, consider how we are behaving. We almost always only criticize, often without any rationale; we chastise, we ridicule, we mock, and what’s most vulgar, we pass judgment ruthlessly. If you sit back and reflect calmly you may perhaps agree with me here. If we invest the amount of time, that we waste on obsessing over the lives of other people, on ourselves, we would not just make progress by being more productive at whatever we work on, we will be happier!

If there ever is anything sinful in Life, it has to be this despicable act of judging others. Unfortunately our society is steeped in this sin, it in fact thrives on it! Most judgment these days happens on social media and almost all the time it is never based on facts or evidence. It is driven by baseless opinion and an angst to prove to the world that you too exist. For instance, if you didn’t post a comment on what you think of Suchi, the moment #suchileaks surfaced, why would anyone even look at your Tweet or post? Or if you didn’t leverage Suchi’s emotional turmoil and give her an ignominious epithet, how can you stay relevant in the dog-eat-dog marketplace?

But there is hope. If each of us can make a small beginning. Clearly, what our world urgently needs is global heartwarming. So, each of us must cultivate understanding and compassion and learn to drop the urge to judge others. We can do this if we can pause and ruminate before making online utterances, specifically in contexts concerning others – not just of celebrities, of anyone. We may like to ask ourselves: is it the truth, is my opinion in the matter relevant, isn’t offering the opinion avoidable; when uttered, will my comment be fair to all concerned, is my Life going to be any better because I commented on this subject or person? I have been employing these questions every single time I have a craving to share an opinion. To be sure, I too have opinions, almost on everything – and everyone – around me. But when I chew over my opinion and subject them to these questions, I find my opinion dissolving. It is a beautiful process – an avoidable urge to judge, opinionate or comment arises and then I throw the questions at that urge and the urge simply capitulates and disappears. Try it! It works!!

I believe the biggest value that choosing to be non-judgmental delivers is time. When we stop obsessing over others’ lives, we have a lot more time to reflect on our own. And it is only through continuously investing in yourself that you can live a fuller, meaningful, happier Life!

 

May many million Irrfans speak up – let there be a war on religion!

Religion was invented to serve as a good means to embrace spirituality. But, over time, the pundits, mullahs and other self-styled mandarins of religion, have made it a ritual-ridden mess.

Actor Irrfan Khan’s statements over the last 24 hours have been interpreted, analyzed and politicized way too vulgarly. His simple, yet sensible, perspective is lost amidst all the senseless din. Here’s what he says: 1. Ramadan is a time of self-introspection not mechanical fasting 2. ‘qurbani’ means sacrificing something dear to you – even a desire – and not mindlessly sacrificing animals ‘bought for a price from the market’. I believe the import of what Irrfan is saying is true not just of Islam but of all religions.

I have always found that what religious texts ask of us is to follow a path that leads us within; all of them advise that we go on journey of self-awareness and discovery. But what religious leaders do is to ritualize every action, induce fear in us and force us to follow ‘their’ way so that they can control us. And out of fear everyone toes the line, the leaders’ line, which is manipulated and presented as religious doctrine. I think if each of us sat down and introspected, we will all feel that being non-religious, non-ritualistic yet deeply spiritual is a more intelligent way to live – for it always leads us to inner peace and happiness.

Spirituality does not demand anything of you. You don’t need to fast. You don’t need to abstain. You don’t need to do this or do that. You don’t need to give up anything. You just need to be. Be aware. Be alive. And be in the moment.

I have nothing against Islam. It is a beautiful religion. Nor do I have anything against Hinduism. In fact, if you go back in history, Hindu is not even a religion it was a geography. The land to the east and south of the Indus river became ‘Industan’, then it became ‘Hindustan’ and all the people in this region became Hindus, just as they are called Indians now. I don’t know when exactly Hinduism as a religion came about but if want to still consider it as a religion, then I am of the opinion that it is a badly, irresponsibly, manipulated and championed religion. Not because of the philosophies that it leans on but because of the wily practitioners who claim to lead it today. I can go on and on about every religion this way. But that would mean giving undue importance to something that the world must get rid of.

So, I would say that we must welcome more saner voices like Irrfan’s. Let there be a mutiny of a different kind. Like what is being attempted against terrorism, the people of the world must unite and declare war on religion. Seriously. What we need now among us is global heartwarming. What we need now is good old bhai-chara, humaneness. Think about it: for each Selfie that we take, if we can invest the same amount of time in understanding our true Self, we can make both our inner and outer worlds, happier, peaceful and bountiful. That’s all it takes to be spiritual, that’s what it will take to get rid of religion!!!!