In a relationship that two people are getting into, what matters is – the two of them. No one else matters. Nothing else matters.
A reader wrote to me asking what I thought of the practice of matching horoscopes when couple are planning to marry. Now, I must confess that I know little about this practice. I respect the fact that astrology is a science and so I believe that matching horoscopes involves phenomenal expertise. It certainly is not mumbo-jumbo. I don’t know it. So, I will refrain from commenting on it.
Even so, I will talk about what I have understood about the process from my own experience. When I proposed to Vaani in 1988, and when the families came round to accepting us, I remember that an astrologer had told my mother-in-law that he did not want to focus too much on the aspect of trying to match our horoscopes. He merely said that “they will be happy together”. I felt very relieved when I heard this because I didn’t want an astrologer’s opinion to force the families to reconsider their decision, especially when they had come around to accepting our alliance. Many, many years later, in 2004, in fact, when we took our horoscopes to Balan Nair, one of the greatest astrologers on the planet, he looked at them and beamed his trademark big, benevolent smile. He said that our horoscopes are unique in that both of us have our highs together and our lows together. He explained that normally when horoscopes are matched, both astrologers and parents of couples will want them to complement each other. Which is, when one of the two is going through a low, the other’s stars will hold up and vice versa. He said, in our case, we were both destined to go through our highs and lows at the same times – together. “This means you have only each other’s support, love and companionship to lean on in your hours of crisis. You don’t have to – and can’t – depend on the stars. Isn’t that a beautiful design,” he asked in amusement.
As I have often shared in the past, (my most recent post on astrology is here) I have leaned on astrology to give me data, to throw some light on my situations, but I have also learnt that astrology cannot solve our problems. It cannot change anyone’s Life. Even in the context of match-making, I feel what the astrologer did when he was asked to match Vaani’s and my horoscope was right – he preferred that we face Life together, as it would unfold, than deny our match on the grounds that the horoscopes were ‘incompatible’.
I reiterate that I have nothing against those who want to base all their Life decisions on astrology. I have nothing against the match-making process that employs astrology. Through my experience I have come to believe that you have to go through whatever lies ahead for you. No one can change that. Nothing can change that. So, if you have a companion alongside you, who’s willing to walk with you every step of the way, however treacherous the path may be, why would you want to trade his or her company for someone who’s more endowed with ‘luck’?
I guess this is also a matter of individual preference. I love the romance that uncertainty brings to my Life, and I love Vaani for also loving uncertainty the way I do. Neither of us craves for an easy passage and I think at the end of the day that’s what makes our companionship precious and our journey memorable. Yes, like everyone out there, we can do with a lot more luck, but we are almost always content with the grace that fills our sails making our journey happier than merely comfortable!