Get off the ‘becoming treadmill’

‘Just being’ does not mean abdicating ambition or the pursuit of excellence.

A young man came up to me after my Bliss Catchers edition yesterday and asked me if “flowing with Life meant that we must ‘just be’?” “In that case,” he pressed on, “should we stop becoming, drop all ambition and allow Life to take care of us?”

Good question that.

First, let us understand that Life has been taking care of us all along. It is only our economic and social conditioning, our logical thinking, that makes us believe that we control Life or that we take care of ourselves. Learning to go with the flow of Life teaches us to appreciate the value of trusting the process of Life. Just being is not inaction. In fact, when you just are, when you just be, you are engaged in celebrating the moment. That is a lot of action. When you are in the now, in the moment, you are letting go of all that worries you or scares you. That means you trust Life to take care of those issues. Now, that again is a lot of action.

Second, you don’t have to necessarily be aggressive, competitive, and hyperactive all the time. This does not mean you must stagnate or vegetate. Be ambitious, work on your ambition, but do all of that with equanimity. By just being, by being calm, you are not going to become any less efficient or less focused on getting what you want or reaching your goals.

The thinker-philosopher J.Krishnamurti (1895 ~ 1986), has said, “Real learning comes about when the competitive spirit has ceased.” And he has also said, “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” If you consider both of JK’s perspectives you will understand that in effect, in the so-called real world that we have created today, there is no more learning. We have lost all our learning ability trying to grow our earning potential. And, obviously, at the cost of not employing our intelligence, we have begun to love, and therefore cling to, things and use people, whereas, it should be the other way round!

Think of what the real world really is: a place where everyone is busy running a rat race, where the spirit of inquiry and learning is stifled very, very early on in Life and people are only keen on their GPAs and placements, where top draw salaries are a means to acquire all material comfort and where innovation and enterprise are sacrificed on the altar of quarterly earnings and wanting to be seen as the number 1 and not necessarily striving to be the best! Competition has become the very basis of Life. No doubt competition, like in sport, brings out the best in a person. But to obsess oneself with competition, with being street smart and constantly comparing with others can ruin the joy of living.

It is this obsession with comparing with others, with competing with a desire to vanquish others, that has made our world, this real world of ours, such a cold place to live in. Driven by the hunger to be successful you have stopped celebrating your uniqueness. Instead of just being, you are on this ‘becoming treadmill’ – wanting to become someone else or wanting to become like someone else. Running on a treadmill has an inherent pitfall – you keep running harder no doubt but, in the end, you are still at the same place! Comparison with others, being in continuous, endless, competition, breeds ambition. No problem with being ambitious. But when ambition makes you combative, restless and subconsciously violent – where you are fighting continuously with who you are because you are wanting to become someone else – then your inner peace and happiness are destroyed.

JK urged us to look at nature. He used to say that the flowers bloom for the joy of blooming; the trees don’t compete with each other, they simply enjoy each other’s presence and growth; the sun rises and sets because it simply has to – there’s no attitude to nature’s magnificence. Osho, the Master, went a step further to clarify: “All that is divine is non-competitive – and your being is divine. So just sort it out. The society has muddled your head; it has taught you the competitive way of Life…when you are non- competitive, only then can you be yourself. This is simple.”

So stop trying to become – something, someone. Just be. Then you will always be happy and at peace with yourself!

When inner joy trumps material gain

In this Vlog, I talk about why I do what I do, why I share learnings from Life daily through my Blogposts, Podcasts and Vlogs!

View time: 2:28 minutes

 

No pot of gold at the end! The journey is the reward, celebrate it!

Happiness must never be postponed or forsaken for any ‘thing’ or person.

At a meeting yesterday, we talked about our Program, Help Yourself To Happiness. Someone pointed out that it was a very important Program for young folks who are faced with a “quarter-Life” crisis. All of us agreed.

I thought about this conversation for a while after we had finished the meeting. I shared with Vaani my observation that people of this generation were facing a “quarter-Life” crisis while our generation (from the 1960s) predominantly dealt only with a “mid-Life” crisis.  Indeed, it may well appear that a “what-is-the-meaning-of-Life” crisis is arriving early for the millennial generation. Surely this is not something to worry about. In fact, if our search for meaning is happening early on, that much better. This really means people will sort themselves out faster and will have that much more time to lead qualitative, happy, lives.

I realized only when I was 38 (in 2005) that all I wanted to do, for the rest of my Life, was to inspire people to happiness. Even then it has taken me over a decade of consistent practice, of being happy despite the circumstances, to reach the point, in the past few years, when I can share my learnings with others. I am keen to help young folks understand that Life is a limited period offer and that the most intelligent – and appropriate – way to live it is to be happy doing only what you love doing. I want to help them appreciate that while you can’t predict or avoid the upheavals in Life, you can surely sail through the turbulence better, without suffering, despite the pain, if you are happy.

So, I am delighted if people are asking existential questions early on in their lives. What is the meaning of Life? What is my Life’s Purpose? Am I living or am I just earning a living? What is all that I am doing adding up to? These are beautiful questions. These are seeking questions. And everyone must ask them. Only when you ask these questions will your seeking spirit awaken to lead you. Therefore, it is always better that these questions are asked early in Life, and you allow yourself to be led only by what makes you happy. This way, you can spend a larger part of your Life simply being happy!

Now, does this mean our generation was foolish enough to allow so much time to pass before we asked the most important questions of our Life? Before we understood what matters most and why? I don’t know about others. But I certainly squandered the first 30+ years of my Life thinking success was all about name, fame and money. It was only when I understood the impermanence of everything material, including Life itself, that I awoke to happiness.

I have realized that there is no treasure at the end of the rainbow. There is no pot of gold. I have understood that happiness is not a goal. It is not a destination. So, it must never be postponed or forsaken for any ‘thing’ or person! In Life, the journey is the reward. And the happier you are on this journey, by being non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering, the more you will enjoy it.

So, just imagine what a beautiful world it would be if everyone was encouraged to appreciate Life this way early on. This is the way Osho beseeched us to embrace. This is the way that J.Krishnamurti championed in all his KFI schools, particularly at Rishi Valley. When more people help themselves to happiness, then, the answer “happy” – to the ubiquitous question that is unfailingly asked of all teens: “what do you want to be (when you grow up)” – won’t be startling anymore! So, let ‘em bring on the crisis. The earlier they know that the journey is the reward, the better. Then they won’t squander their precious lifetime chasing a non-existent reward instead of celebrating the magical journey!

Experiencing Zen with a cup of green tea

When you are merely activity-driven, you are never present in the moment!

We met a young lady recently who is obese, has hypertension and complained of her inability to stay focused. As we sipped some filter coffee, she tucked into a badushah (a sweet doughnut!). But even before she had finished eating it, she had checked her phone a few times, she had looked around the café and exclaimed that her Life had become monotonous, predictable and dreary. She confessed that she is simply not able to prioritize and manage her time and tasks effectively; she wondered what she must be doing to fix her “poor attention span” problem.

Many people are in this young lady’s situation – grappling with their home and work schedules, unable to find time for themselves, coping with lifestyle-related challenges like diabetes and hypertension and, overall, just going through the paces of Life, never really being able to live it fully! There’s only one way such people can “re-invent” themselves. They have to learn to be mindful. It’s not a method, it’s an art – and it can be mastered with understanding and practice.

Mindfulness is the ability to just be, to be in the present moment. Many a time, we keep doing stuff – cooking, cleaning, driving, smoking or eating. We don’t concentrate on what we are doing. Our mind is elsewhere. Our activities then are just chores. Our actions are not mindful, they are really mindless, mechanical. Which is why we are unable to “see” that some of what we could be doing is “ruinous”. We know, for instance, that smoking is ruinous, over-eating is ruinous, not exercising is ruinous, worrying is ruinous. But we go on doing these things. Mindlessly. Which is why observing your own Life, and viewing it dispassionately as a third party, helps. When you observe yourself you will realize how mindlessly you go through your days. You simply are going through hurried motions. You are not present in any of your actions. You are merely activity-driven. You are never in the moment. For instance, you are working overtime to send your kids to school – but never pausing to celebrate and enjoy their innocence. You are rushing to finish your bath – but are never enjoying your body. You are eating in a rush – but are not tasting and relishing your food. You are texting away madly – but are never celebrating how much smaller the world has become thanks to Facebook and WhatsApp. You go on worrying endlessly – without realizing that worrying doesn’t solve any problem and only keeps you away from enjoying whatever you have! It is only by being mindful in each moment that you can really understand what about you needs to change.

Try a simple exercise in mindfulness. Make yourself a cup of green tea. And drink it patiently enjoying every sip. Feel the tea energize you as it enters your body. Don’t let your thoughts wander. Be focused on experiencing the tea travel within you. Examine how you felt while drinking it. This experience of being one with the tea, this feeling, is what mindfulness is all about. This is what is Zen. Practice this in everything that you do. When cooking, focus on the recipe and its preparation, on the aroma, on the taste! When driving focus on the road and the joy of navigation; if the traffic is messy, don’t complain, just soak in all that you observe and be grateful for your ability to see, to drive, to own a vehicle or simply to even be in a vehicle – compared to so many others who don’t have all that you do! When on Facebook, celebrate the opportunity to connect with the world, your world. Every time your mind wanders, to a past event and makes you feel guilty or to a future event and makes you anxious, bring it back to attend on whatever you are doing now. Remember the human mind is like the human body. It will resist any change first. But repeatedly bringing the mind back to focus on the present, you can train it to let go of the past and to not indulge in the future.

Please don’t treat this suggestion of the “green tea experience” as a one-off experiment in Zen. Every once in a while step aside from your Life and observe yourself. As a third party. You will then discover how much you have to change for your Life to change! Conversely, only when you are fully present in each moment, are you alive in it. It is only then that you are living the moment fully. When you live each moment fully, you will realize its value. And through this realization, you will be able to transform yourself – your priorities, your work, your health and your Life!

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A missing cuckoo, a wary manager and the art of ‘high-performance’ by ‘just being’

Blending spiritual awareness with everyday action is intelligent living.

The other morning Vaani and I sat in our balcony reading the newspapers. Suddenly Vaani pointed out that her favorite cuckoo, that normally sat on a specific branch on the tree in the neighbor’s backyard, was missing. Then, in a few seconds, she heaved a sigh of relief and declared: “There’s the cuckoo…seems to have shifted from one branch to another!” I love Vaani for this ability of hers to pause and drink in Life from around her. She manages to see magic and beauty in small things, in unexpected places – a bird here, a flower there, in a puddle of rain water, in a cloud formation… When Vaani was at Rishi Valley, where her parents taught for 25 years, she had the privilege to learn the art of just being from J.Krishnamurti (JK), who founded the school. JK would take the children in the school for long walks and teach them to observe Life. ““See Life as it happens, observe keenly, there’s great value in stopping the doing and simply watching….” JK would tell us,” said Vaani, even the other day, after she found her friendly neighborhood cuckoo.

This morning a manager told me that when I am addressing her team, I must not talk about spirituality. I found this request rather strange. And I asked her why the embargo. Pat came her reply: “Oh, spirituality champions doing nothing! I don’t want my people to turn non-performers!”

I laughed heartily. I know people often get confused between spirituality and religion. But this is the first time I was hearing someone say that spirituality was anti-performance. Let me clarify and reiterate that all Life is spiritual. And if there is one way to make your Life deeply meaningful and valuable, it is to embrace spirituality and learn the art of high-performance by just being.

Is it possible to do nothing? Doesn’t doing nothing amount to inaction? So, when you don’t act, when you don’t do what you must, aren’t you failing in your duty? And if there’s nothing to do, nothing to achieve, what’s the purpose of Life?

Any seeker will encounter these questions. They are perfectly normal, logical questions. The answers to these have to be understood at two levels: at the spiritual, inner awareness, level and at the everyday action, practical, level.

First, let’s view it from an inner awareness angle. Rinzai, the famous Chinese mystic, considered a Master in Zen Buddhism, has said famously: “Sit silently, doing nothing, and the grass grows by itself.” By this Rinzai does not mean you should do nothing forever. He calls for a deeper level of observation, of just being – every day; the level of observation that Vaani learnt from JK, that forced her to look up from the newspaper and search for her cuckoo friend. Everyone’s in a tearing hurry to get things done. There are the dishes to be done, groceries to be fetched, the kids to be dropped and picked up, meetings to go to, deadlines to be met, targets to be achieved, bills to be paid, mortgage dues to be settled….and on and on…you go. From one commitment to another. From one small crisis to another. Hours, days, weeks and often months have gone by rushing until you realize that you need a break. Phew! But a break has come to remind you again you must accomplish a set of things you always wanted done. Go to the spa, change the upholstery, get the air-conditioners serviced or have the whole house re-painted! And just in case you managed a vacation, it is always about “seeing” whatever you can in the “limited” time that you have. Again it’s a rushing of a different kind. Rinzai says, drop everything, and sit silently. Just observe. See how Life goes on. Be silent. Thoughts will come and go. Let them. Bring your attention back to your present – to the now. You can sit in your balcony and see the crowded street below or the clear blue sky above or you can go to the park or you can go to the beach or even to the mall. Go somewhere. But you be silent. You be only a witness. You just be. Then, says Rinzai, you will see the beauty of how nature, how Life, works on its own.

This is what just being and doing nothing can help you with. It will help you experience the magic and beauty of Life. It is through being silent that you realize what inner peace is. It is through inner peace that you become aware of the true nature of Life. That Life goes on not because of you, but in spite of you. When you have realized this, then everyday living becomes stress-free and, in fact, meaningful!

Next, at a practical level, you must never abdicate your responsibilities. You have to continue doing what you are doing. You may have a job, you may have a business, you may just be a home-maker, you may be a student – whoever you are and whatever you have to do, keep doing it. If you don’t like what you are doing, change it. Do something else. Philosophy and spirituality surely cannot pay your bills. You have to earn an income. But don’t earn to pay your bills. Earn from what gives you joy. Then you won’t think of your Life as a drudgery. And if someone’s earning for you, do something with your time that makes you joyful. Don’t sit and complain about Life and say you are bored. So, from an everyday action point of view, keep doing whatever you must do. Just don’t complain. Don’t hanker for results. This is what sitting silently, observing Life, for a while each day can help you understand.

When you combine spiritual awareness and everyday action, you learn to live intelligently. Completely at peace with yourself and your immediate world. Because your rhythm’s in harmony with the Universe’s, whatever you need, the Universe always provides you with. In this zone, you become the most productive and whatever you do works out just great. This is how you become a high-performer by just being!

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You have to go through what you have to go through!

From wanting your Life to be different, just learn to love what is.

Last evening we met a friend who opened up to us about his Life. He said he had been out of circulation for the last three years because he was dealing with his own challenges – his business was not doing too well, his wife had separated from him, his children had gone away on their own Life journeys and he was literally coming back to an empty house every night. He said he didn’t know what to do. He was not sure if he must have an affair or hit the bottle or take up a sport or simply sulk. He said that as long as he kept asking ‘why’, ‘why me’ and ‘why me now’, he kept feeling miserable. But his quest for answers led him to inspirations – Osho, J.Krishnamurti, Thich Nhat Hanh – and those in turn led him to reflect on the true nature of Life. He says, “I soon found that happiness is a choice. I realized that I can’t always get what I want. So, I decided to live with and love what I have – my loneliness.” Once he accepted his current reality, our friend told us, he felt great peace within and soon he ended up finding more focus in whatever he was doing. His business is now picking up and he’s happy the way he is and with the world around him.

Our friend’s experience there is a beautiful example, a reminder of sorts, of how each of us has through our own unique Life paths. You have to feel lost in Life first before you go on to find yourself, find inner peace and happiness. Nobody can escape this aspect of Life. You have to bear your own cross, you have to face your demons and you have to go through what you have to go through.

It sure is possible to love what you want in Life. But how can you love what you don’t want? How can you love death? How can you love a grave illness? How can you love betrayal in a relationship or a financial loss? How can you love sorrow, fear and anxiety?

To at least accept, even if you can’t love, what you get in Life, you have to understand Life deeply. Actually, Life is pretty simple – it’s just not in your control! You have been created without your knowledge. Without your asking to be born. Your creation has been a magical event. But you have not known it. You have been created as an embodiment of the Universal Energy. But you hardly see yourself as that because the labels of your name, your religion, your education, your economic strata in society, your profession, your income, and many more such labels, have been stuck on you. These labels are the cause of all your desires. Each of your wants is a consequence of your having to live up to the reputation of the label that dominates your Life at a particular time or moment. For example, in reality, you don’t need many of the things that you buy and possess in Life – like a swanky car, a large apartment in a premium neighborhood, expensive jewellery, a club membership and such. But you have them around or desire them because you have a social standing to maintain. Society has packaged you in such a manner that you are acceptable to them. Who you truly are has been buried deep below several layers of those labels or masks. Beneath all of them is the non-wanting, non-desirous, accepting you. So, to be happy, you must just peel off the masks and labels that you wear for society’s sake, and get to the real you.

Wanting your Life to be one way or the other is what causes unhappiness. The truth is that you never caused your Life. And you can never control it. When you internalize this truth, you will discover that it changes the way you look at Life – from wanting Life to be different to loving what is! You will then realize that you can live fully and be happy despite your circumstances!