Life Se Dosti Karke Dekho

Don’t fight Life, don’t resist what is and you will never suffer!

Last evening, I watched a movie on TV called Nil Battey Sannata (2016, Ashwini Iyer Tiwari, Swara Bhaskar, Ratna Pathak Shah, Ria Shukla). It is an endearing film that reminds us that our dreams help us go on, no matter what we are faced with. One of the characters in the film, a young boy named Amar, is very good at Math. When he is asked how does he grasp the subject so well when everyone else struggles with it, Amar replies: “Try understanding it and you will never have a problem. Maths Se Dosti Karke Dekho, Woh Phir Tumhe Satayegi Nahin.”

I found that perspective very empowering in the context of Life too.

One of the main reasons why people struggle with Life is that they don’t understand it. They expect Life to happen the way they want it to happen. They don’t realize that Life does not conform to any pattern, there is no formula to live it, there are no methods to be employed nor can any mantras help. The only truths that are discernible about Life are these: 1. It is a limited period offer that will expire soon. Everything – and everyone – will perish; Life itself is impermanent, transient. 2. You can’t control Life; it simply keeps on happening. So, no amount of wishing can change a reality that has arrived in your Life. Once you understand these simple truths about Life, you will stop struggling with Life. Then there will be no suffering. Yes, there may be pain, because pain is inevitable. But you will not suffer. You will begin to live your Life with the faith that, over time, every challenging phase will pass, that you will be looked after and provided for. You will learn to be patient with what you have, with a great acceptance of your current reality. You will begin to trust the process of Life, even as you are patient with yourself, and with Life itself, even as you work on changing it.

AVIS-Viswanathan-Life-Se-Dosti-Karke-Dekho

Which is why, after watching the movie yesterday, I was compelled to scribble this learning down on my constant companion, my Post-it pad! “Life Se Dosti Karke Dekho! Woh Phir Tumhe Satayegi Nahin…” “Make friends with Life…then it will cease to be a struggle, it won’t trouble you anymore!” This certainly does not mean that your problems will go away. Your problems will be there, but you will be able to deal with them better – without worrying, without being frustrated, without suffering. In Life’s game you never know what hand you are going to be dealt next, but the more you play it, the more you enjoy playing every hand it deals you, the better you will get at the game itself!

I am reminded of an all-time classic, among my favorites, from Hum Dono (1961, Amar Jeet/Vijay Anand, Dev Anand, Mohd.Rafi, Jaidev, Sahir Ludhianvi) “Mein Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhaata Chala Gaya…” It means, “I partnered with Life and went along with the flow…” The learning is both simple and profound – don’t fight Life, don’t resist what is and you will never suffer!

Give Life your complete understanding and appreciation

We always expect so much out of Life. Yet, every once in a while it will be appropriate to ask ourselves, what do we give Life that has given us so much?

Life has given us a reason to liveand not to exist. Life is the original Zen Master: it keeps varying its course of actions so that we don’t get tired of learning lessons from our myriad experiences. In essence, Life makes learning fun. Life gives us opportunities at every stage. Albeit, at some times, it gives them disguised as problems, so that we discover the ‘opportunities’ in them. It doesn’t really want to frustrate us but, in fact, is playing with us. If we respond to Life, in a sporting, game spirit, it will respond back equally gleefully. To be sure, the only thing Life expects from us is for us to enjoy the experience. So, may be, we want to give Life our appreciation and understanding. Wouldn’t we thank and appreciate a host who has invited us over for a lavish dinner and has gone into planning it meticulously? So what if some of the dishes were not what we liked or some of the people who were invited were not exactly our type? But the host genuinely tried to make the experience special for everyone.

So it is with Life. Give Life your complete understanding and appreciation. This philosophy is so beautifully captured in this memorable song from the 1961 classic, Dev Anand’s ‘Hum Dono’ (Amarjeet, Vijay Anand) – Jaidev has composed this unforgettable score for Sahir Ludhianvi’s awakening lyrics. Mein Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhaata Chala Gaya!  If you understand the lyrics, you may want to make this your Life’s leitmotif – just the way, Dev Anand did!