When a picture teaches you about Life…

As Dr.Nupur Talwar and Dr.Rajesh Talwar walked free from Dasna jail last evening, this image emerged on my timeline, on the Internet and on TV.

Picture Credit: APNLIVE – Sourced from the internet

It told me so many stories about Life…it showcased…

• How inscrutable Life really is
• The unfairness and injustice meted out to this couple, their daughter Aarushi and their help Hemraj
• How to stay strong, find strength in a storm and go through Life with reflection, resilience and resourcefulness
• How to serve selflessly, how to be useful no matter how grave the circumstances are – the dentist couple refused fees for dental care that they had provided to inmates of Dasna
• The unflinching support that Rajesh’s older brother Dinesh Talwar provided the couple – he was the mainstay of the entire defense strategy, the chief-of-staff as the family soldiered on
• The focus and perseverance of defense attorney Tanveer Ahmed Mir – without whose leadership, the Talwars’ case may not have been made in the Allahabad High Court
• The brutally honest story-telling of Avirook Sen in his Book Aarushi and of Vishal Bharadwaj and Meghna Gulzar in their film Talvar
• The stoicism of the Chitnis couple, Nupur’s parents, as the family went through these harrowing 9 years
• That, no matter what, the truth ultimately prevails…and justice is always done
• How small, and petty, our own challenges are when we look beyond ourselves and around us
• Why we must always be grateful for what we have instead of complaining about what we don’t have
• The learning we must all take away: whatever happens, face Life!
• The Gulzar-RD Burman-Kishore-da genius: Musafir Hoon Yaroon…Bas Chalte Jaana Hai…

Lesson from the Talwars’ story: you can’t reason or negotiate with Life!

You have to go through what you have to go through!

Yesterday, the Allahabad High Court acquitted the Talwar couple, Nupur and Rajesh, in the sensational murder case of their daughter Aarushi. Vaani and I always believed that the couple were not guilty. We have been following the case closely over the past 9 years. We have read Avirook Sen’s book Aarushi and have watched Meghna Gulzar’s Talvar (2015, written by Vishal Bharadwaj, starring Irrfan Khan, Konkona Sen Sharma, Neeraj Kabi) too. Every shred of evidence in the case has always pointed to the innocence of the Talwars. And now the Allahabad High Court rules that there never was, and there isn’t, any conclusive evidence that proves that the Talwars murdered their daughter and their domestic help, Hemraj. Besides, anyone who knew anything about the case, also knew that the UP Police and the second team of the CBI that investigated the case, had done a very shoddy job of the investigations. So, as the Allahabad High Court’s verdict streamed in, many, many people across India felt justice had been done. Of course, some people, rightly so, seek justice for Aarushi and Hemraj – who killed them, and why is the killer(s) still roaming free? And there are others who maintain that the Talwars “got away with it” while some others believe that our system – of crime detection and jurisprudence – stinks.

I have blogged on my learnings from the Life of the Talwars a few times in the past. Life doesn’t bother what you feel about it ; Our Life design, the Master Plan is inscrutable, but it has to be accepted and faced; Judgments and opinions have no place in a Life that spares no one .

As I sat down to write today’s Blogpost, what struck me was the meaninglessness of it all, the inscrutability of Life’s design! If the Allahabad High Court eventually acquitted the Talwars, then why were they convicted in the first place? Why did the couple have to go through this harrowing experience – when they have not even been able to grieve the loss of their child privately? Who will compensate for the 9 years of their Life that the Talwars have lost battling courts and investigating agencies, serving an unfair jail sentence for over 4 years? Why do good people have to go through tough times?

In these questions lie a brutal, non-negotiable truth about Life. Our Life. Yours and mine. And that truth is this – Life just keeps on happening; it has a mind of its own! It doesn’t matter to Life whether you are ethical or talented or sincere or hardworking. No matter who you are, you have to go through what you have to go through. Asking Life questions serves no purpose. Because you aren’t going to get any answers.

Personally, I take away a lot from the Talwars – from the way they have stoically faced their excruciating Life situation. They have not just lost their only child, they have lost their privacy, their reputation, perhaps their sanity too in the wake of such senseless trial and scrutiny by media and public alike; in their incarceration in Dasna, UP, they lost their freedom too – yet they have soldiered on. At each stage, they have done what they had to do, and what they could do – which is, they have relied on the legal system. However biased the system may have been against them, they have ploughed on within its framework. To me, Nupur and Rajesh are embodiments of what the Bhagavad Gita urges all of us to do – focus on our actions, on what we can do in a given situation, and leave the outcome, the result, to Life.

None of us can say we understand what they have gone through and how they must be feeling now after their acquittal. But what we can do is to learn from their story – we can learn that we can’t reason or negotiate with Life; we have to go through what we have to go through! And yes, we can, of course, send them all our love and prayers…

Fight the good fight but don’t fight Life!

Life doesn’t bother what you feel about it

Understand that Life may sometimes appear to be unfair. But there’s no point fighting Life. It’s an exercise in futility.   

Rajesh and Nupur Talwar Picture Source: Internet/Financial Express

I am still to come out of the shock of watching Meghna Gulzar’s “Talvar”. Based on the sensational double-murder of Aarushi Talwar and Hemraj, “Talvar” is very, very, very disturbing. Like journalist Avirook Sen’s book on the murder case and trial, the film too points to the injustice against the dentist couple Rajesh and Nupur. The film just corroborates something we all know about our system in India – that it is apathetic, inefficient and in several ways, dysfunctional! There is absolutely no prima-facie evidence that the couple killed their daughter. In fact, all evidence in the case is purely circumstantial and whatever is has been badly collected, analyzed or documented – either by the UP Police, who first investigated the crime and later by the two CBI teams. If anyone got close to solving the murder mystery, it was an upright CBI officer, but he was side-lined when a new CBI Director took over. So, nett nett, the two possible culprits roam free while Rajesh and Nupur are serving a prison sentence, having been convicted by a Special CBI Court, in Dasna jail in UP. They are accused of murdering their only child – only because, of the four people who were (ostensibly) in the apartment that night in May 2008, two are dead and the other two are them!

The more I think of it, the more the unfairness of it all rankles me. But there’s no point in feeling so. The truth is Life never promised any of us any fair-play. You are created without your asking for it. Things happen to you. And you must take each even as it comes in your Life, as it happens, accept what is, and simply move on. This way, while you cannot prevent what happens to you, you can at least choose not to suffer. This doesn’t mean you should not fight injustice. Of course, the Talwar couple are moving the High Court in Allahabad seeking a review of their sentence. But given the long list of pending cases and appeals in that court (like in most other courts in India), it may be some more time (read years) before they get a hearing and a review. When you read Avirook Sen’s “Aarushi”, you will discover that the Talwars have adopted an accept-what-is while being-at-the-problem-to-fight-the-injustice stance.

That can be your learning too. So, while you fight the injustice in any context, make a choice not to be bitter. Bitterness will only cause you suffering. When you suffer you cannot focus on and deal with a situation. You will feel drained and defeated. So, in your own interest, in order that you fight the good fight, you simply must first accept a reality – any reality – for what it is, the way it is. When you accept a reality, you can understand its ramifications better. When you understand something well, you can deal with it wholesomely.

Life is inscrutable no doubt. But it is also a series of happenings. To label any happening or event in your Life as good or bad or ugly or fair or unfair is of no use. Life doesn’t bother what you feel about it. So, when you can’t enjoy a situation, don’t fight it or resist it either. Simply endure it. This is the only way you can be at peace – despite your circumstances.