On ‘The Happiness Road’ with S.Muthiah

My conversation with chronicler of Madras and story-teller S.Muthiah,  for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan  

“As long as I am working, I am happy”

Consider these career highlights: 66 years as a journalist, 56 years as a columnist, 46 years of writing on Madras, 36 years as an author and 26 years as Editor of Madras Musings! That’s S.Muthiah for you. He’s regarded widely as Chennai’s beloved historian. But he prefers being known as its chronicler, its story-teller. How’s he so energetic and prolific at his age? “I love what I do. So I continue to do it,” says Muthiah. He clarifies that he doesn’t quite “sit and think about happiness”. “Happiness is not a philosophical concept to me. As an editor, if I get badly written copy, I enjoy myself. The harder the work, the greater the challenge, the happier I am,” he explains.

Muthiah believes that Life is not to be spent thinking about what makes one happy or unhappy. Instead he says that we must learn to live with the Life we have. He cites the instance of the week, four years ago, when his wife passed away: “She died on a Thursday. And I went back to work and delivered my column that appeared on Monday.” So, does he treat work as therapy? “I don’t think of work as an antidote to something. I just love working,” he reiterates.

Vaani, Muthiah and AVIS at Madras Literary Society – December 2016

I glean from our conversation that he keeps debilitating emotions away by immersing himself in his work. Here’s another story from his Life. In the early ‘90s, when his employment contract with T T Maps was not renewed, he had a family to provide for. Anyone else would have been held hostage by insecurity and anxiety. But Muthiah took up writing for a slew of publications and also wrote advertising copy. He launched Madras Musings around the same time. “Always look for work. Then your mind will be engaged in what you enjoy doing,” he advises.

Additionally, he makes a significant point that is very relevant to today’s generation that seeks instant gratification: “Ambition creates desire. When desire is unfulfilled, it leads to stress and depression. Instead take pride in your work and do it very well. When you work this way, you will progress automatically and doing the work itself will make you happy!”

Way back in the late ‘80s, Muthiah taught me journalism. 30 years later he teaches me the value of intelligent living. It’s for people like him that the title Guru is so appropriate!

The story in the print edition of DT Next

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Justin Vijay Jesudas

My conversation with international para-swimming champion and DGM, CTS Research Centre, Justin Vijay Jesudas,  for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan  

“My happiness is eternal”

Two qualities in Justin Vijay Jesudas strike you when you meet him. Self-confidence and equanimity. Those are the reasons why Justin’s been able to pick up the threads of his Life after a car accident left him paralyzed neck-below in 2009. He’s a wheel-chair user alright, but he lives a full Life – he drives a customized car, he wins medals at international Paralympic swimming championships and at national rifle-shooting events, he surfs and he’s always beaming his electrifying smile! I seek to know the secret of his persevering spirit and positivity. “After the accident, when the prognosis reported that I wouldn’t be able to walk, I never asked ‘why me’. I simply got down to training myself to walk. But 18 months later, I decided that let me not try and control what I can’t. Instead I focused on what I could control. My shoulders were strong, my elbows and wrists worked partially, so I adapted myself to driving, swimming and shooting. I chose to be happy with what I could do instead of complaining about what I could not,” says Justin.

Despite keeping a day job how does he manage to find time to do all the other things he does? “The accident reminded me that all we have is one Life. So I decided that it is only in this lifetime that we have to do all that we want to do. It’s not the medals and accolades that excite me. It is the joy of being able to compete at an international level, it is the journey, of going out and giving Life your best, that makes me happy! I believe I may not have been so ‘alive’ had it not been for the accident and my disability,” explains Justin.

Justin, Vaani & AVIS

Doesn’t he ever grieve over what has happened to him? He confesses that he does feel grief, but only fleetingly – it doesn’t linger for too long. “My happiness is eternal. I see emotions such as grief or reasoning with the fate theory as a complete waste of time. I have faith in myself and I believe in enjoying each moment. And I know, as long as I am moving, feeling content with what is, the possibilities are immense,” says Justin.

Life may have dealt him a debilitating spinal cord injury, but Justin’s ensured that it hasn’t crushed his spirit or taken away his happiness! Bravo!!

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with V.R.Devika

My conversation with champion of Indian art, culture and Gandhianism V.R.Devika for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan 

“Happiness is a decision”

Mention Devika’s name and people will relate her to Gandhi, to the charkha and to Indian art and culture. Yet, to me, Devika is a champion of intelligent living – she lives by tenets that protect her inner peace and happiness. “When I was younger, I did wallow in self-pity and succumb to worry. But some years ago, when I had to go through a biopsy to rule out cancer, I told myself that I would face whatever came my way. My condition was not malignant – thankfully. But the experience taught me to overcome uncertainty and insecurity. I made a conscious choice then to be happy no matter what the doctors were to report. Therefore, happiness is a decision you take and it is not dependent on your circumstances,” says Devika.

Devika, Vaani & AVIS

She firmly believes that her entire Life has been serendipitous. She lives in an apartment that has been gifted – ‘with no strings attached’ – to her by a good friend. She has travelled to many countries to deliver talks and presentations – all of them on invitation. And every time she has needed work, someone has come along and given her a project that’s cut out just right for her. “How can you be unhappy when you have so much grace, so much abundance in your Life? I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world,” she confesses. She reveals that over the past several years she has created her own way to deal with debilitating emotions like worry, anger and anxiety, whenever they come calling: “I look into the mirror and tell myself that I am not going to let such feelings linger. I shift my attention to what I have instead of focusing on what I don’t have. I constantly remind myself to be grateful and content. That’s how I sustain my happiness.”

Devika reiterates that to be happy you have to be decisive. “When I was young, I was sexually abused by a powerful member of my family, my brother-in-law (who is no more). For years I pitied myself and lived in fear. But when I was in my 40s, I came out and told my family about it. Almost immediately, I stopped pitying myself. The secret to happiness lies in stepping out of whatever makes you unhappy,” she explains.

“Be decisive, be happy!” – that’s my key takeaway from the conversation. Surely, it’s yours too!

The story in DT Next’s print edition.

 

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Thota Tharrani

My conversation with National Award-winning Art Director Thota Tharrani for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here.  ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan 

“I am happy when I feel grateful for who I am”

 Life, to Thota Tharrani, is a three-letter word: “A-R-T”! “I don’t do art for building an identity or for fame or money. Art keeps me creatively alive; it flows through me,” he says over tea in his beautiful studio. “But cinema is different,” he clarifies, adding, “It has given me a name that is bigger than I really am. Luckily, I haven’t let it get to me. I always look at those who are more talented than I am and I look at those who are less privileged. I am happy when I feel grateful for who I am and for all my blessings.”

That’s a very modest perspective coming from a man whose body of work spans five decades. His art direction in Nayagan (1987) and Indian (1996) fetched him National Awards. Besides these, he has been feted for his work in many films and his art has always been celebrated by connoisseurs globally. “I am humbled people find my work worthy. I don’t attach too much value to material gains. There’s great joy in creating art of all forms, and there’s greater joy when your art has been able to touch a Life and make a difference,” explains Tharrani. He shares an anecdote about a painting he randomly made and gave away to a casual worker in Kolkata, 20 years ago. Recently, while visiting the city again, when he bumped into the worker, the man thanked him profusely saying he sold the painting and raised money for his daughter’s marriage. “That moment is priceless. I am happiest in such moments. This happiness – no amount of money, no recognition can get you,” he avers.

Tharrani, Sarada and their daughter with Vaani and AVIS

Tharrani’s wife Sarada pipes in to say that he is always “happy, positive and immersed in his art”, no matter how challenging the circumstances around him are. How does he manage to stay this way? “I work very hard. I enjoy the process of creating art. And I have learnt not to have any expectations from the world – so, I am never disappointed. I believe in my art, in the value I create. And never in the valuation that people place on me or my work,” replies Tharrani.

Tharrani’s unquenchable thirst for creative expression blends beautifully with his remarkable contentment in a material context. This explains why he is so accomplished and so happy!

The story in DT Next’s print edition

 

 

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Shekar Dattatri

My conversation with Wildlife and Conservation filmmaker Shekar Dattatri for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan

“Virtually everything in Life is a bonus”

Shekar Dattatri is 54 years old. But he looks a decade younger. And the reason, I realize, is that he’s been following his bliss for 41 years now. “From the age of 13, I have never done anything that I have not wanted to do. What makes me happy is doing what I believe in and what I love doing,” he says.

A chance visit with a friend to the Guindy Snake Park in 1976 led to Shekar getting “drawn into the world of nature”. He started off as a student-volunteer back then. But one thing led to another and his Life evolved serendipitously – from his getting an SLR camera from a well-wisher, to him getting to make a National Award winning film on Silent Valley, and later on with the plethora of film opportunities that came his way, many of which went on to win awards and had premium showings on Nat Geo and Discovery. “I am blessed. The Universe has been very good to me – connecting me to the right people, at the right time,” acknowledges Shekar, adding, “And I made sure I invested each waking moment in exploring nature’s every facet. I feel it would have been a waste of my Life if I had done anything else.”

Vaani and AVIS – engrossed in conversation with Shekar

Much feted and celebrated, Shekar is very grounded despite his rockstar, cult status in wildlife and conservation filmmaking: “I am still learning to make films. What I have done is just a drop in the ocean.”

From 2000, he has exercised a significant, conscious, choice to shift his focus from making films for TV and instead make films for conservation awareness. He concedes that he makes little or no money this way. But he’s very happy that his work makes a difference to someone, somewhere. “I have chosen to be single. And I live modestly with just enough to support myself. Whatever I do I try to do it well, I have no expectations and what gives me happiness is making a film that I really believe in,” he says.

I want to know if being happy and content can consistently deliver greatness, as is evident from his impressive and vast body of work. Shekar’s answer, while being unpretentious, leaves me with yet another inspiring perspective: “Virtually everything in Life is a bonus. When you accept this fact, you are more happy, and Life is more meaningful.”

The story in the print edition of DT Next

 

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with S.Vijayaraghavan

My conversation with Senior Advocate S.Vijayaraghavan for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan

“True success is being happy”

 S.Vijayaraghavan is an incurable romantic. He loves living Life to the fullest and celebrating it in each moment. Within the same week he could be hosting the Manganiyars of Rajasthan at a home concert one day and on another he could be enjoying classical jazz at a sit-down dinner and on yet another day he could show up dressed as dacoit Gabbar Singh at a Sholay-themed party. All this while in the midst of defending his clients’ matters in courtrooms across India. “My profession may be cerebral but I have never tried to curtail my love for art, culture, food and anything that’s aesthetic. I approach Life with a palpable innocence. This innocence is my happiness quotient,” explains Vijayaraghavan. He adds that intelligent living and happiness are all about preserving this innocence that’s resident in each of us.

Those who know him will vouch for his eclectic taste. And for the beautifully curated cultural and culinary events he hosts each month for his circle of friends. “Whatever I love when I see, hear or taste it, I share with people. Sharing my happiness makes me happier,” says Vijayaraghavan.

How can such an attitude of loving and sharing Life be sustained in the midst of everyday pulls and pressures? Vijayaraghavan says it can be done by understanding what success truly means. “Success is not about acquiring and holding on to material possessions. Nothing temporary or ephemeral can make you happy. True success is being happy, it is to be able to live a full Life, enjoying doing all that you love doing irrespective of what you possess on the material front.”

AVIS, Vaani and Vijayaraghavan sharing a lighter moment!

Gratitude, he says, plays a big role in being this way: “Instead of focussing on what you have created or acquired, look at what you have received. Be grateful to the creator and to all those who have come into your Life to support you and help you to be who you are today. I am always grateful. It keeps me humble and happy.”

What about the worry beast? How does he tame it? “I just immerse myself in my work. Too much focus on yourself is what makes you unhappy. I leave my worries to the creator. To me, my faith is a great source of inner joy,” replies Vijayaraghavan.

Celebrating your innocence and living doing all that you love, I realize from this conversation, are key ingredients for undiluted, sustained, happiness.

 

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Rajkumar Bharathi

My conversation with classical musician and composer Rajkumar Bharathi for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan

“The key to inner peace and happiness is acceptance”

 Sage-like. That’s the one word I have to describe Rajkumar Bharathi.

Consider this: Even as his career as a musician was peaking, in 2001~2002, he was struck by ‘Spasmodic Dysphonia’ which impaired his vocal cord nervous system.
It was a big blow. Surely, there was the emotional pain arising from his inability to sing. But Rajkumar refused to give up music; from singer, he transformed himself into a composer. Over the last 15 years he has emerged as a sought-after music composer for leading dancers and their productions. But Rajkumar is not in the least bitter with Life over his impairment. “My voice was never my own. It was given to me. And then it was taken away. I saw no point in complaining. I did not question Life.” he says matter-of-factly.

AVIS in an engaging conversation with Rajkumar Bharathi

Rajkumar reveals that he has this ability, he calls it a “blessing”, to accept any situation without necessarily resisting it. “So, I didn’t suffer. The key to inner peace and happiness is acceptance. I just embraced my new reality,” he explains.

I seek more clarity – isn’t acceptance often seen as a sign of resignation, of inaction? Rajkumar’s eyes brighten up. He leans forward. And gushes forth: “You see, any crisis has to be gone through. Now you can do it willingly or grudgingly. Anything that you fight against causes suffering. I did not want to suffer when I could be peaceful. It is a fallacy to think that we have a hold on what’s happening to us. The sooner you realize that you don’t control anything, and that Life just happens to you, the happier you will be. I have learnt to offer myself to creation. And creation is taking care of me. See, music is still providing for me – the seven swaras are still my constant companions.”

I marvel at his equanimity. He appears unflappable and stoic. I wonder loudly if others too can learn to be like him. He is quick to affirm: “Everyone has a zone where they will be unmoved. When you find your zone, and learn to just be with what you have, you will be happy. No one can intrude into your happiness zone if you don’t allow them to.”

Well, Rajkumar’s journey sure offers a deep, reflective point of view – why not stop fighting Life, accept your reality, find your zone and be happy?

The story in the print edition of DT Next

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Zakir Hussain

My conversation with dancer and Thirupaavai Upanyasam expert Zakir Hussain for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan 

“Being myself is happiness to me”

 There’s an endearing quality about Zakir Hussain. He doesn’t mince his words. And he’s clear about who he is and what he does. “Being myself is happiness to me,” he says as we sit down for this conversation at the legendary Krishna Gana Sabha. He was born and raised a Muslim, he went to a Christian Mission school and he devoured Andal’s Thirupaavai out of sheer passion. So, who then is the real Zakir? “My bliss is to inspire audiences to soak in the beauty of Andal’s Life and the message of Vaishnavism while promoting secularism. I am blessed that my profession and my passion blend to give me boundless inner joy,” explains Zakir.

Even so, I wonder how he manages the pressure and challenges of being a Muslim, a male Bharatanatyam dancer and also one who is a Thirupaavai Upanyasam expert. “Every moment, you are facing and overcoming challenges. So, I don’t single out my identity and calling to conjure up a special challenge there. Yes, what I do may appear to be unusual. But I am doing it to spread harmony, to inspire people to be happy being who they are. I don’t see anything wrong. If someone has a problem with it, I just let them be. I don’t see any need to justify anything. Discretion is the key to happiness,” he says.

Zakir and AVIS at Krishna Gana Sabha, Chennai – Trivia: the footwear matches! 

Zakir adds that living your Life in full public view means that critique and criticism are unavoidable. “When people’s remarks hurt me, I sleep over them to douse my anger. Silence is a good weapon. No one can fight anyone’s silence,” he points out, laughing heartily.

But why exactly does he dance or spread Andal’s message through his Upanyasams? “I am convinced that I am able to be in communion with the divine. You must live in this real world and experience divinity here, in the now. That’s what happens to me when I dance or when I deliver Upanyasams. I see myself as offering my mind, body and soul to the divine. I become that,” avers Zakir.

As a parting line, he reiterates that he is not unique: “I truly believe that we can all learn to be happy and content with who we are, with what we have, when we carry in us the constant awareness of our impending, unavoidable, death.”

That truth about Life is like Zakir himself is – unputdownable!

The story from DT Next’s print edition

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Sivasankari

My conversation with writer Sivasankari for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan 

 “Only acceptance can lead you to happiness”

For someone who has a body of work that spans almost half a century, who has been feted and celebrated all through her career, who was close to two Prime Ministers and whose perspectives are constantly sought and respected by both intelligentsia and common-folk, Sivasankari is very grounded and anchored. She attributes her equanimity to her favorite shloka, from Adi Sankara’s Bhaja Govindam. Roughly translated, it means, “Never be proud of your youth, your money and the people around you; at the blink of an eye, they will all be gone!” Sivasankari says that her awareness is imbued by the spirit of this shloka’s message. “This awareness helps me in being detached from everything that happens to me, around me. It keeps me happy, content and at peace with myself,” she adds.

Vinodh, Sivasankari, Vaani & AVIS

Sivasankari believes that the key to happiness lies in understanding the true nature of Life. “Loss and grief have to be faced in Life. You can’t escape it,” she says. Her father died in 1970, when she was just 28. Soon after, her aunt, who had been through 13 miscarriages, died tragically, leaving behind a 7-year-old son. Sivasankari was distraught. A close friend told her to ‘make use of her grief’. She wrote her first novel, Etharkaga? (Why?). In 1984, when she was 42, she lost her husband. Her mother encouraged her to make her grief irrelevant by embracing the sufferings of others. That’s when, moved by the plight of a 9-year-old drug addict, she researched on the social evil and wrote Avan (He), which was later made as Subah (Morning) for television. And when her mother died recently, Sivasankari decided to liquidate her assets and donate most proceeds to charity. “Grief is a natural response in some Life situations. But my awareness has helped me to accept my grief and channelize it usefully. Over time, I have learnt that Life is all about letting go and moving on. That’s how you can be truly happy and peaceful,” explains Sivasankari.

How do you develop acceptance, I ask her. “Do you have a choice in the face of Life? Whatever it is, you have to accept the reality of your Life. Else you will suffer. Suffering comes only from resisting Life. I have learnt to never contradict reality. Only acceptance can lead you to happiness,” replies Sivasankari.

Now, that’s a valuable Life lesson which each of us may want to take away.

The DT Next Print story

 

On ‘The Happiness Road’ with Rehane

My conversation with fashion designer Rehane for my ‘The Happiness Road’ Series that appears in DT Next every Sunday. Read the conversation on the DT Next page here. ‘The Happiness Road’ is also my next Book. Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan 

 “This Life is just a pinprick. Bear it!”

 She’s revered as the high priestess of fashion from Chennai. Her work showcases and sells globally and she’s been a regular at India Fashion Week shows. She’s styled many celebrities over the past two decades, fusing modern Indian sensibilities with European trends. But when we start talking about happiness, what’s strikes me most about her is a rare inner glow, her spirituality: “I am not one who pursues happiness. When I am happy, I am happy. When I am sad, I am sad. When I am in pain, I taste from the fountain of pain, I savor it. I don’t resist it. I become one with whatever I am experiencing.”

Rehane, Vaani and AVIS – Photo Credit: Vinodh Velayudhan

Although she has seen a lot of success, glitz and glamor in the fashion circuit, Rehane has also been through a lot of pain growing up. Her parents separated when she was in her teens. And her mother died under tragic circumstances a few years later. “I decided to go with my father to Rome when my parents divorced. And Rome embraced me like a mother would – she taught me about Life, she taught me Italian. The food, the people, the history, all of that made me feel warm and wanted. I never missed not having a mother. That’s how I realized that the Universe is very compassionate – you are always given what you need,” says Rehane.

Doesn’t she ever wish that her Life could have been different, without all that pain? Her reply is quick and profound: “This Life is just a pinprick. So, bear it. In the larger scheme of the Universe, your whole lifetime means nothing in the end. You never know when you have to depart. So, don’t ever fight Life. Flow with it. There’s no point moping and wishing things were different.”

Rehane advises that the key to equanimity is to accept whatever happens to you in Life as if you are the chosen one. “I feel I am blessed to have gone through terrible things. Something good has always come out of every traumatic phase. You can’t have a Life that is only about being happy, happier and happiest. This is the only Life you have. So you have to be ready and willing to experience everything,” she adds.

Embracing pain, I have known, makes you stronger.  From the conversation I had with Rehane, I now know it can also make you glow from within!

The story from the print edition of DT Next today