Why Shirdi Sai Baba’s twin philosophies of Faith and Patience are key to making Life magical, beautiful!

“…yeh gham ki ratein, ratein yeh kaali, inko bana de id aur diwali…”

This line is from the iconic Shirdi Wale Sai Baba song, from Manmohan Desai’s 1977 classic, “Amar Akbar Anthony” (AAA). The other night I heard this song, perhaps for the nth time, on TV. A young contestant on this Season’s Indian Idol, Azmat Hussain, sang this song beautifully; incredibly, he sang it in the presence of its composer Pyarelal (of the legendary Laxmikant-Pyarelal duo). Anand Bakshi’s powerful lyrics and Mohd. Rafi’s evocative rendering make this song one of my favorites.

There was a time, however, when I hated this song.

I was 10 years old when AAA released. In the last 42 years, I have watched this movie several hundred times; I never tire of watching it! Yet, for the longest time, I used to think that this devotional song interrupted the fast-paced narrative of the movie. So, I loathed this song – picturized on Rishi Kapoor and his on-screen mother Nirupa Roy, it showcased the miracle of Roy’s eyesight being restored through Shirdi Baba’s grace – in AAA. I have even wondered why Manmohan Desai, who to me is a master filmmaker, resorted to “cheap gimmickry”, often sprinkling liberal doses of Faith, religion, God and miracles in the storylines of his films! In fact, one night, several years ago, I recall telling this to a friend: “It is stupid to rely on miracles when you can write your own destiny”!  We both were at the famous Trishna Restaurant & Bar in Mumbai’s Fort area and had downed a few pegs of whisky. Our conversation was about Manmohan Desai’s impressive body of work and I remember vociferously highlighting how this song singularly devalued AAA’s brilliance.

Rishi Kapoor in AAA; Image Copyright with Original Creator – Source: Internet

I was in my 20s then. And I was ambitious. I was in a hurry to prove to the world that “I” too could be successful, wealthy and famous.

To be sure, through my 20s and right up to my mid-30s, I did hit several performance targets that I had set for myself. This certainly reiterated my belief then that hard work and integrity always delivered results – which is, they always gave you whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted them! And so, for all that while, I never had any reason to either revisit my views on Life, miracles and destiny or consider the import and relevance of Shirdi Sai Baba’s teachings!

And then the bankruptcy happened to us in end-2007 (Read more here: Fall Like A Rose Petal). Groping through it – through worklessness, pennilessness, darkness, insecurity, worry and fear – Vaani and I tried religion, rituals and explored the idea of God in the hope of finding solutions to fix our problems. We also leaned on the sciences of Astrology, Vaastu and Feng Shui. Finally, battered and bruised, realizing that there are no quick fixes in Life, we learnt to let go. We chose to surrender and to go with the flow of Life. We immersed ourselves in prayer. Recognizing that there was indeed a nameless, formless, inscrutable, Higher Energy that governed all Life, we implicitly placed our trust in it. We told each other that we will take each day as it comes, one day at a time, and keep walking, however long it takes us or however far we had to walk. After all, we reasoned, the same Energy that had created us will care for us, will provide for us.

This is how – and when – we discovered Shirdi Baba’s twin philosophies of Faith and Patience. When you pause and reflect, you will agree that Shirdi Baba’s Life’s message is contained in these two simple, magical, words. In fact, at all the shrines dedicated to him, and all through the “Saisatcharita”, you will find these two words staring back at you – “shraddha” and “saburi”, Faith and Patience! Through our cathartic, awakening experience, we understood that Faith is simply the ability to trust the process of Life. And we realized that while we anchor in Faith, we must employ Patience until we get what we want.

Shirdi Sai Baba; Image Copyright with Original Creator; Source – Internet

To be sure, there is no method, no single way, to anchor in Faith and employ Patience. Letting go, trusting the process of Life and living with Faith and Patience, is the way. Living through our crippling bankruptcy for over 12 years now, Vaani and I have realized that Faith does not always solve our problems immediately. But having Faith in the process of Life – that what goes around, comes around; that what goes up will come down some day, only to go back up another day – certainly helps us to cope with our problems better. Keeping the Faith also teaches us Patience. Unless you embrace these twin philosophies, and live practicing them together, you will not see the miracles in your everyday Life.

The truth is that this Life is a miracle, every moment you are alive is a miracle…the sunrise, the sunset, the dew drop, the moon, the stars, the birds chirping…every thing, and everyone, around you is a miracle. But you miss these everyday miracles because you are steeped in grief, in pining for what is over, what is dead and isn’t there or you are gripped by anxiety and fear, worrying about the unborn future, about what is still to arrive. You are so consumed by imagining that your Life is one endless saga of problems that you don’t see the magic and beauty of your Life, of your miracles. In fact, this human form you have is a miracle; despite your frailties, your circumstances and your vulnerabilities, “you are the miracle you seek”! And, be sure, that you are reading this blogpost now is a miracle. What Vaani and I have learnt is that miracles don’t happen to you because you prayed harder or because you deserve them. Miracles are happening for you, and will continue to happen for you, because you need them. But you can see these miracles only when you are soaked in Faith and Patience, only when you learn to let go and flow with Life!

Anand Bakshi’s lyrics from the song in AAA are pointing to precisely this awakening: “…yeh gham ki ratein, ratein yeh kaali, inko bana de id aur diwali…”…Bakshi’s plea is that of the beleaguered devotee, of the seeker, asking Baba to show the way, to making these dark, sorrowful, nights a celebration, like an Id or Diwali…How can a dark phase in Life ever be a celebration, you may well wonder. Turn to Baba, as we did, and you will find him simply inviting you to keep the Faith and employ Patience.

Vaani and I can relate totally to Bakshi’s song – and particularly to that line – now and to the import of Baba’s twin philosophies. For the record, I no longer think it is stupid to rely on miracles or believe that you can write your own destiny. I actually am in a constant ready-to-celebrate-miracles mode and I totally, unquestioningly, trust the process of Life. And I must report that even though we are still in the throes of our financial crisis, we have seen, at every stage, Life taking care of us, providing us what we need, in the nick of time. While, on the material, evidential, side it is common knowledge now that our children have graduated from universities abroad through “miraculous acts of the Universe”, on the spiritual side, we both have not just survived thus far, we are living a Life of meaning and Purpose. As “the happynesswalas”, we are spending our every waking minute Inspiring ‘Happyness’! In fact, to us both, given our excruciating circumstances, being in this state is a miracle. We are thriving, making each moment – however dark or gruesome it may be – count, celebrating it like an Id, like a Diwali! 

Note: AVIS and Vaani are the happynesswalas. They believe their Life’s Purpose is Inspiring ‘Happyness’! They are going through a fascinating Life-changing experience – a crippling bankruptcy!! Look them up here: https://www.thehappynesswalas.com/  

“Sub Kuch Changa Hai Ji!”

Today’s blogpost appears as a Podcast – Listen here – 4:46 minutes

In this Podcast I share my learnings on why I believe the Master Plan has no flaws and why it is futile to expect someone or something outside of you to solve your problems!

 

 

Your wishing cannot change the Life you have

Nothing can prevent what is to happen.

The other day, at a bookstore, I chanced upon what was once my favorite book – Numerology by Harish Johari. Back then, I taught myself some basics about this science. I would keep the book handy, as a ready reckoner, and always refer to it before I took important decisions. So, the name of my erstwhile Firm (that went bankrupt: read more here, Fall Like A Rose Petal) and of all the Programs we offered were derived from a numerology guide I followed. I concluded, through trial, error, perception and fear, that numbers or names adding up to 4 or 8 were “unlucky” for me. So I did not take decisions or sign cheques on dates that added up to a 4 or 8. I avoided hiring or working with people whose names added up to a 4 or 8. I had convinced myself to believe that I must get the best “energies” to work for us. After all, I reasoned, success is all about attracting the right energies.

And then, despite my best intent, efforts, and in some cases, despite adequate “precautions”, we made a couple of strategic mistakes (which followed an ethical stance we took as entrepreneurs) that ended up running our Firm to the ground. Worse, we pushed ourselves into a big, deep, dark hole of debt and, 10 years on, we are still struggling to extricate ourselves out of it. To be sure, we went bankrupt and turned insolvent in end-2007, a situation that still menacingly holds us in its grip.

This phase led me to my most significant learning about Life. No amount of astrological perspective, numerology, Vaastu, Feng Shui, business planning, hedging risks, insuring or whatever, no amount of forecasting, preparing, planning or protecting, none of these can prevent what is to happen. Life will happen, no matter what, the way it wants to happen. Which is, what has to happen will happen – and you have to endure, go through, face, whatever comes your way. Your wishing cannot change the Life you have.

When I reflect upon this learning, I realize that Life has always been this way. There’s nothing about Life that has changed. Through stumbling, struggling, falling, believing, fearing, imagining, unlearning, relearning, re-believing, reimagining and eventually learning to face Life for what it is, I believe I have changed. I have evolved. I have awakened spiritually. My inner awareness now tells me that no matter what I want, or what I do, it is – and will be – what it is. So, the simplest, non-suffering, way to live Life is to accept what is and keep moving on.

When I set back Harish Johari’s book on the store-shelf the other day, I was brimming with joy from within. It was a typical bicycle-riding-beginner’s-look-ma-no-hands moment for me! I was delirious with delight that I didn’t need any crutch to lean on, that I don’t need any prophesies, I don’t need any reassurances; I was free! I realize now that you are happiest, despite the circumstances, when you accept yourself for the way you are and for your Life for the way it is.

Kannadasan’s lyrics mean more to me now than an astrologer’s prophecy

What can you do by knowing your future – you still can’t change a thing!

A famous artist I met recently told me that he had added an alphabet to his name, on the advice of a numerologist, in the hope that his fortunes would improve. “But, on the contrary, things have worsened,” he lamented. He then asked me: “Is there any truth or logic in all these things – astrology, numerology, vaastu, feng shui – can they change one’s Life?”

I am often asked this question. Perhaps because in my Book Fall Like A Rose Petal I talk about how two astrologers, a father-son duo Balan Nair and Ramamohan Nair, gave us perspective and direction in our darkest hours. Yes, I do believe that all of these – astrology, numerology, vaastu and feng shui – are sciences. So I respect them. But I have learnt that beyond gaining perspective and direction, we must not look for them to resolve our Life situations. They simply can’t!

Let me explain. When you go to a doctor, you are prescribed a medicine. You must take the medicine for you to heal. Similarly, when you go to an astrologer, invariably – especially if the astrologer is an expert and is ethical – you are advised prayer. This is all what astrologers can and must do – they must tell you more about the phase you are going through in Life and advise prayer. What is prayer at the end of the day? It is just a form of surrender to a Higher Energy. Prayer in the context of a sunny, prosperous phase really means being grateful for all the abundance; and in the context of a turbulent, dark phase means acceptance and surrender. Clearly, a good astrologer can only read your chart efficiently and share with you the facts, the context, of your ongoing Life experience. No astrologer can change your chart. Therefore, over time, I have learnt that when practitioners of numerology, vaastu and feng shui make claims to “alter” your Life’s course, they are really talking bunkum. I don’t hold it against them though. That’s their business model and their need to earn a living drives them to do what they do.

After over a decade of living through a cathartic phase in Life, I have come to realize that the only way to dealing with Life is to simply be in the moment. You can’t solve some inscrutable Life situations. You have to go through any experience for as long as it lasts, however long it takes. Apart from just being, being happy, prayer is good coping device. When you pray – and I don’t at all mean or recommend being ritualistic or religious here – just surrender to a Higher Energy. Offer yourself to be led by it. Trust the process of Life and go with the flow. I am happy to report that I have even stopped seeking direction and perspective from my astrologers. I no longer am keen to know when my trials and tribulations will end. As you can see, I am not bitter with Life either. In fact, I am delighted I am going through this phase because it has only made me stronger, wiser and happier. Without this experience, I will not have learnt the art of being, being happy – which is really to be non-worrying, non-frustrated when results don’t come and non-suffering in the wake of so much pain.

In reply to a mail that I had sent providing an update on our situation, a friend to whom I owe money wrote this reply recently: “I really hope that in 2017 all your troubles vanish and Vaani and you bounce back. You can’t keep going through this phase endlessly.” My cousin asked me once: “How long will you endure this? Don’t you want to know when all this will end?” I know that everyone wishes us well and are genuinely concerned for us. But is there any point in knowing when a tough phase in Life will end? What can you do with such knowledge? Whether you know that it will end soon or later, you have to go through whatever you have to. Nothing – and no one – can change that reality. So, Vaani and I have realized that it is best to go through whatever is in store, stoically, with a smile. There is intense pain at times, but our equanimity, our happiness, helps us not to suffer.

10 years ago, I would have advised you to meet an astrologer. I would have referred you to a vaastu or feng shui expert. I studied numerology myself so I may have volunteered some advice for you. But now I will simply say, accept what is, be happy and go within – realize yourself! As the famous lyrics of Kannadasan from Vettaikaran (1964, K V Mahadevan, T M Soundararajan, MGR, Savitri) go: Nee Unnai Arinthal, Nee Unnai Arinthal, Ulagathil Poradalam ...It means: “If you realize yourself, your true Self, you can battle and thrive in the real world…”

 

“Sab Kuch Changa Hai Ji…!” – Everything’s fine and the way it should be!!

Your Life’s happening at its own pace, of its own accord and in the way it must happen.

A recent blogpost I wrote on my experience with vaastu drew varied and interesting responses.  Addressing the sentiments of some readers, I must clarify that I do not have anything against any practice. Vaastu and feng shui, I know, are very well researched, documented practices. I have tried them and have found them working myself. In fact, I also firmly believe that astrology is a science and I do consult astrologers. But approaching anyone or anything thinking they can solve your problem is wrong. Vaastu and feng shui can at best correct the flow of energy in your living and working spaces. Astrology can help you understand the cause for turbulence in your Life and tell you how long the turbulence will last. None of these crafts can change your Life for you. And if someone is telling you they can alter your Life’s course, then, I am afraid, they are leading you up the garden path!

To be sure, you have to go through whatever Life has planned for you. The Master Plan has no flaws. At best, a science like astrology can help you make sense of this inscrutable Life, but beyond that you must live through, experience and learn from your Life.

Once your inner awareness grows, when you evolve spiritually, you will stop looking for validation from external reference points. You will, like me, begin to believe that everything happens at the right time. Good or bad are labels that we human beings place on events and situations. In Life, there’s really no concept of a good time or a bad one. So, why agonize over things, events and people because we seek instant gratification? In an SMS/WA generation, this is even more starkly evident. Everyone wants everything now and fast. Practicing mindfulness, enjoying every breath we take, every morsel we eat, every sight we behold, is the best way to live. This doesn’t mean you must not be ambitious or aggressive. This means don’t rush through Life. Don’t stress over it. Learn to be patient. Everything happens to a plan, and just because we are not aware of that plan it doesn’t mean there isn’t one!

Kabir, the 15^th Century weaver-poet, has said this so beautifully:

Dheere Dheere Re Mana, Dheere Sub Kuch Hoye

Maali Seenche Sau Ghara, Ritu Aye Phal Hoye

It means:

Slowly, slowly O! Mind….everything happens at its own pace…

The gardener may water with a hundred buckets, but the fruit arrives only in its season…

So, go easy with your Life. Don’t let anyone tell you they can make it better for you. Know that everything’s fine and is exactly the way it should be.

I am reminded of what I learnt eons ago from our neighbor, a Sikh, a sardar, in Jaipur. His last name is all I can recall – Aneja. I must have been barely 9 years old when this incident happened. We all used to sleep on the terrace at night in summer to beat the 40+-degree desert heat. Past 12 o’clock, one night, a telegram arrived for Aneja. He read it out aloud: “Burglary in Delhi house. Rush immediately.”  He reflected on the message briefly as everyone who was awake crowded around him. And then he exclaimed: “Sab kuch changa hai ji! Chalo so jao. Savere chalenge, Dilli! – All is well. Go back to sleep everyone. I’ll leave for Delhi tomorrow.” The next morning my dad asked Aneja before he left for Delhi, “Arre bhai Aneja, how is it that you were so calm even after you came to know that your house had been burgled?” Pat came Aneja’s reply: “Sirji, what had to happen had already happened. What was I going to do ruining my sleep? Sab kuch changa hai is a good way to live Life. Zero-complications!”

That lesson has stayed with me. Thanks to the cathartic, transformational experience I am going through, I have learnt to live my Life fully – knowing that always, whatever be the issue, circumstance or problem, sab kuch changa hai!  

 

Scent of Negativity or Aura of Abundance – your choice!

If you are tuned to your negativity, you will never experience abundance!  

Recently we were told by someone, who was considering having me address her customers, that she did not want us to talk about the spiritual lessons we have learnt from our bankruptcy at her place, because she feared that the negativity “from us and our sharing” will get “absorbed” in and by her place. “The energies of a bankruptcy are very negative. I don’t want you to bring these into our place,” she said. Vaani and I looked at each other. And smiled. We didn’t say anything to clarify or to defend. We simply thanked our prospective host and left. When we got into our Uber we shared our perspectives with each other. And we concurred: “The physical dimension of a bankruptcy can and will impact anybody’s material Life – just as it has impacted Vaani’s and mine. But only those who are spiritually bankrupt will be consumed by their fears and insecurities.”

I appreciate the lady for being open with her point of view. And I believe she will learn and evolve through Life as she journeys along. Even I have learnt only this way!

This episode reminds me of an incident from 12 years ago. I was looking for an antique desk for my office, for me to work from. I finally found one at a store dealing with period furniture in T.Nagar (Chennai). Just as I was about to swipe my credit card (in those days I had one with a credit limit available on it!) and buy it, I called up my vaastu consultant to review the desk’s dimensions. When he heard that I was planning to buy it from a used-furniture store, he forbade me from doing so. He said, “Who knows what that desk has seen? Perhaps a bankruptcy? The energies of the desk will impact your decisions and your business. So, please don’t buy it.” I was heavily reliant on his advice and did not take any decisions that were not vaastu-compliant back then. So, I dropped the idea of buying that desk and instead had one custom-made by a carpenter to match my vaastu consultant’s prescribed dimensions. Yet, just three years later, my business went famously bankrupt. And, as is public knowledge by now, I am still trying to deal with its aftermath, still trying to pick up the pieces, still struggling to get our business back on track. One day, during my mouna (daily practice of observing a period of silence) session, some years back, when I reflected on the vaastu consultant’s advice and my decision to heed him, it became clear to me that we are not our circumstances. Life is just a series of events that keeps on happening to us. But we are not those events. So, simply, you are not your bankruptcy or your cancer or your divorce or your joblessness or your quadriplegia. Therefore, you have a choice and the opportunity to feel and be positive no matter what your circumstances are. And if at all there is any negativity, it is in you, in your mind, not in the circumstances or objects or things around you. Yes, some people you encounter will be feeling negative, but their negativity cannot touch you unless you let it come into your Life.

The reason why Vaani and I wear our Life on our sleeves, why we go and share our story with people, with whoever cares to pause and reflect, is because we want people to know that it is possible to be positive, peaceful and happy despite their circumstances. In all our sharing, we have only found people who have opened the doors of their hearts and homes to us. We have found compassion, love and humanity thriving all around. The odd people here and there don’t get this perspective. But we don’t judge them or grudge them. We understand that it takes spiritual evolution – a.k.a learning from Life – to appreciate this point of view.

The untrained mind will fear negativity from everything and everyone around, because it is steeped in insecurity. But the evolved mind will fear nothing – neither human nor circumstance. Because, it is willing to unconditionally, unquestioningly, flow with the present, with what is! And there is only abundance in the present moment! Bottomline: you will smell negativity only when you miss the aura of abundance in you, around you!

What I learnt chasing Foo Dog figurines

Superstition always leads to fear and worry. Or just the opposite may happen too.

The other day a friend visited us. The conversation hovered on Vaastu and Feng Shui for a while. Then we talked about the merits and demerits of following rituals and believing in superstitions. After my friend left, I reflected, with amazement, on how I had grown out of “investing” in Vaastuand Feng Shui. I have nothing against these practices – I strongly believe they are sciences in their own way – or those who follow them. To be sure, I was, until a few years ago, very superstitious and heavily reliant on Vaastuand Feng Shui to determine how – where and with what – I must live.

Once, while on a three-day trip to Bangkok, Vaani and I spent over three-quarters of a day, in Chinatown, searching for Foo Dog figurines. Foo Dogs are the ancient sacred dogs of Asia who guard Buddhist temples – our Feng Shui consultant had advised us to get those figurines so that our home could be “protected”. Imagine, hunting for Foo Dog figurines in Bangkok, when there are possibly so many more entertaining, enriching, energizing things to do in that amazing city?!

Over time, with the practice of daily silence periods, I realized that relying on “external reference points”, however scientific they are or may have then appeared to be to me, are signs of a weak mind, one that is not self-aware. The ones with courage, I discovered, are the ones that know themselves. And if you know yourself, I soon learned to ask myself, why do you need to lean on a crutch __ a talisman, a figurine, a ring or a number? All these crutches are ostensibly to help you navigate better through Life. But Life is not the issue. It is your fear which is weakening you. And the best way to deal with fear is to look it in the eye and face it! These crutches cannot possibly help you face your demons, your fears. Never!

My evolution and learning has also taught me that what scares you often has the power to liberate you. Almost all of us have a good luck charm, a lucky number, and believe in something, often absurd, that we have been conditioned to. Nobody wants to do anything with the number 13 for instance. Or we prefer our favorite colors or numbers. There’s a view some people hold that if you bang into a piece of furniture when you are leaving to get something important accomplished, you must treat that as an early warning sign of something terrible that’s on its way. People that champion a scientific temperament will reason against this, intensely. And which is why those who want to believe in superstitions and premonitions will resist all rational arguments, however reasonable they may be. But here’s a simpler take. If everything is an event in this lifetime, a mere data point, including your birth and your impending death, and since the soul is imperishable, eternal, then what consequence does a furniture that comes in the way or a cat crossing your path or a mere number have?

In anyone’s Life, three things are absolutely inscrutable:  birth, death and soul. Now birth is without choice, death is unavoidable and the soul is not visible. What else is important when these three dimensions of your Life are beyond your control? When I look back, I feel that being superstitious, being ritualistic and being wedded to mere methods does make you fearful. And lonely. When I let go of whatever was controlling me, I felt free.

Enjoy being liberated. It’s a beautiful world out there. A stumble here, a fall there, a number here and a cat there, nor Foo Dogs figurines at your door, can make no difference to you, if you choose to feel the air in your lungs, being present in this – the only certain, happening, available, magnificent, miraculous – moment of your Life! 

Life cannot be fixed. It has to be faced and lived!

Life is pretty simple. Don’t complicate it by over-analyzing it.

Last week I met with someone who is a practitioner of new-age methods of healing. He had heard my “Fall Like A Rose Petal” Talk and reached out to me. He said he would analyze the water content in my body, study how my body responded to sound and recommend ways in which I could revive my business and career. “I will bring you back on track,” he suggested, reassuringly.

I politely declined his offer citing lack of time to engage with his proposition. But he persisted. I had to then tell him what I felt about what he was recommending I do. “I am already on track. I am anchored in faith and patience. I am aware that my business and career need to revive urgently. And I prefer working on my business than on attempting to change my Life design,” I said. The gentleman took the cue and backed off.

I don’t have anything against religions, rituals, conventional forms of prayer, astrology, Vaastu, Feng Shui, gemology or even science (for methods like the one this gentleman was recommending). I have tried all of those and have discovered that our individual Life designs are pre-planned, pre-ordained and are unalterable. We have to go through whatever is in our design. So, the best way to live Life is to live accepting whatever comes our way!

Indeed some of the methods we seek, or are advised to follow, do help us to be peaceful. But they can’t alter the course of our lives. What is ordained will happen. If we resist what is happening, we will suffer. If we accept whatever is happening, while there will undoubtedly be pain, there won’t be any suffering. When you are not suffering, you can focus better. And despite the pain you can be at peace.

My astrologer, a very wise man, who, at 85, is a Master in his own field, taught me this: “Astrology cannot alter the course of your Life. It can at best tell you about the weather conditions and tell you how long the storm or sunshine will last.” This is so contrarian to what most practitioners of astrology – or other methods and sciences – claim out there. Which is why, people like you and me, fall prey to them.

Actually there’s no point blaming anyone in today’s highly commercialized world. We must pause to reflect and examine if we are being sensible when we expect to someone or something to “correct” our lives when we are faced with a challenge. The truth is that Life cannot be fixed. It has to be faced. It has to be lived. It is through the experience of facing and living – and learning from – Life that we grow and evolve. It is when we grow and evolve that we understand that Life is simple. It is then that we realize that we complicate Life by wanting it to different from what it is. When we awaken to this realization, we will drop all our wants, we will let go, and then, we will be truly peaceful and happy!