Learn to accept your pain
Surrender and let go!
Don’t try to solve your problems at the same time
When faced with enduring seemingly unsolvable situations…
Surrendering to Life means dropping debilitating feelings and being free
Going with the flow will deliver you to where you really ought to be.
Last night’s Super Moon, brought back haunting memories from some years ago. We had no money. The situation at home was so bleak, we were out of groceries. And just that evening our lawyer had called us to say that an order that had been issued by the court to seize all our movable assets and auction them, would be executed the next day. (PS: We are going through a bankruptcy; and to know more read Fall Like A Rose Petal and watch Rise In Love.) There were only two ways in which to prevent the court order from being executed. Pay the bailiff from the court money as a bribe or settle with the complainant so that they would not press the execution of the court’s order. I was very unsure of how we were to deal with this Catch 22 situation. We would never pay a bribe, but even if we had to, we had no money. So, in such a cashless situation, how were we to settle the complainant? Unable to sleep, I got out of bed around 11.30 PM and I stepped up to the balcony. I looked up at the full moon. It was a magical night – Chennai’s hot summer breeze blew in from the Bay of Bengal, the bamboo trees in the neighbor’s backyard rustled rhythmically, and the moon shone in all glory. I lifted my hands apart, part in prayer, part in invocation, and howled, in the dead of the night, looking up at the moon, “I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what to do, I surrender.” Almost instantaneously my stress dissolved, the fear that was gnawing at me from within – on what would happen when the bailiff arrived – just vanished. I went back into my bedroom and slept through the night – soundly, like a baby.
The next morning, the bailiff came at the appointed hour. We offered him a glass of buttermilk that he accepted. In the time that he took to drink it, I told him our story. We offered to comply with his process seamlessly. He heard us out. Then he looked at me and Vaani and said, “Look Sir, you and Madam look genuine to me. Don’t worry about this order. I will take care of it.” So, saying, he just got up and went away. I have not seen him since that day.
I am not sure what the bailiff did or why he did what he did. All I know is that I surrendered to a Higher Energy. So I believe my family and I have been taken care of and provided for. This has not happened to us just this one time. It has happened again, and again, and again, every single time that we have surrendered.
Whether you like it or not, whether you ask for it or not, at some time or the other, in some unique, unfathomable way, Life will bring you to a state when you will awaken to the truth that your Life is not in your control. At such times, the best response is to simply surrender to Life. Let whatever must happen, happen. Because, whatever is to happen will anyway happen!
But the normal human response is anger, frustration, depression, fear, insecurity, anxiety, worry and grief. There’s no point suppressing these feelings. They will naturally arise in you. Allow those feelings to come. Feel each of them and ask yourself if they can help you deal with your Life situation any better. If they can, persist with them. Let’s say, someone’s dying of cancer. How can any of these feelings help cure the cancer? Or prevent that person from dying? Or let’s say you have been let down in a relationship. How can these feelings help you cope any better? When you sit calmly and analyze your Life situation – any situation which cannot be solved at a human level; and there are many of them – you will understand that going with Life’s flow, and the grand Cosmic Design, the Master Plan, is the only intelligent option you have. So, logically, there’s no point persisting with these debilitating emotions. Surrendering to Life really means dropping these feelings and being free!
I have come to believe that not knowing what to do in Life is an opportunity to understand, appreciate and live Life better. It is a humbling experience. Our education and intellect make us believe that we are in control, that we are achieving this and that, we are creating assets and raising families, that we have everything planned out and mapped out in our lives. But when a Life situation strikes, and pushes you into a corner, you realize that you were never in control then – or now. It is only through this awakening that you understand the value of surrendering to Life and going with its flow.
So, if you are in a place in Life when you don’t know what to do about someone or some situation, go with wherever your Life is taking you. Don’t resist. Don’t fear. Don’t agonize. Go with the flow, because, always, you will arrive where you eventually need to be and that’s where you will be peaceful and happy!
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‘Letting Go’ is the way!
My late grandfather, my father’s father, used to say, in chaste PalaghattanTamizh: “Nadakarthu ellam nadakarapadi nadakattum.” Meaning, let everything happen in its own way. It also means don’t come in the way of Life. Because in reality, Life has been happening in its own way – whether you liked what happened or not, whether you like what you are getting or not. And if you elevate yourself to see Life from a spiritual plane, there are no problems. There are only events. Mere incidents on your journey called Life. You call something, which really is a simple event, a problem because you don’t like it, you don’t want it in your Life.